Sports 1

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Some say that sports play an important role in society.

Others think it is
nothing more than a leisure activity. To what extent do you agree or disagree

BÀI SỬA LẦN 1

293 words

In this day and age, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on
the idea that sports are considered as a vital element to human life rather than a Commented [MOU1]: Hoặc nếu muốn điểm cao thì viết

leisure activity. In my opinion, sports are very necessary to each individual for
Are of great importance to …đọc thêm cấu trúc
reasons mentioned below. https://www.ieltstutor.me/blog/luu-y-ielts-writing-task-2

Firstly, it is evidenced that sports are good for physical development of human Commented [MOU2]: Hoặc dung wholesome

especially children because indulging in such activities helps body function Commented [MOU3]: Có dấu ,

smoothly and more efficiently. In other words, sporting involves the activity of
every muscle, which can strengthen the body and enhance good health...For Commented [MOU4]: Ê ielts là văn academic nên k viết
… mà phải viết and so on hoặc and so forth
example, due to being trained to play basketball from the very young age, most
of players have an outstanding height and good endurance, which allows them to Commented [MOU5]: Tập đa dạng hóa cấu trúc being
trained to play basketball from the very young age helps
struggle with long exhausted basketball matches. Therefore, playing sports can most of players have an ideal height

bring health benefits and physical fitness which are highly important to each Commented [MOU6]: Hơi dài dòng bỏ
Commented [MOU7]: Nên dùng mấy cụm như are
individual. likely to…. Dùng can cũng đc
Secondly, because players are required many skills and spirits while playing
sports such as critical thinking or team work spirit,consequently, they gain many
valuable lessons after each match. For more specific, when taking part in a game, Commented [MOU8]: Câu main idea mà sao có ví dụ
trong đó
each individual will not only manage to cooperate with teammates but also Commented [MOU9]: To be more specific,
response quickly to complicated situations. As a result, players can practice to Commented [MOU10]: Respond
work with different kind of people under various circumstances. Take football as Commented [MOU11]: Parahrase

a prime example, a glorious victory is contributed from rapid decisions and Commented [MOU12]: Số nhiều

extreme efforts of all members such as goalkeeper, defenders or attackers. Hence,


by playing sports, children will be educated to be more excel at social skills which Commented [MOU13]: Thanks to
Commented [MOU14]: Excel at nó là động từ
can make them more mature and adaptable in life.
Commented [MOU15]: , which

In conclusion, I once again affirm that playing sports is not only for fun but also
brings many health benefits as well as practical values for players. Commented [MOU16]: To
BÀI SỬA LẦN 2
287 words

In this day and age, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on
the idea that sports are of great importance to human life rather than a leisure
activity. In my opinion, sports are very necessary to each individual for reasons Commented [MOU17]: http://www.ozdic.com/collocatio
n-dictionary/necessary dùng từ điển này tra
mentioned below.  absolutely

Firstly, it is evidenced that sports are wholesome for physical development of


human, especially children because indulging in such activities helps body
function smoothly and more efficiently. In other words, sporting involves the
activity of every muscle, which can strengthen the body and enhance good health.
For example, being trained to play basketball from the very young age helps
players to have an ideal height and good endurance. Therefore, sports are likely
to bring health benefits as well as physical fitness which are highly important to
each individual.

Secondly, players are required necessary skills when taking any kind of sports,
consequently, they gain many valuable lessons after each match. To be more Commented [MOU18]: Students are able to equip
themselves with neccessary skills for their later use
specific, social skills such critical thinking or team spirit are said to be crucial thanks to playing sports, especially team sports
Viết câu main idea phải rõ ra, kiểu straight to the point
requirements for players, hence, each individual will not only manage to á
cooperate with teammates but also respond quickly to complicated situations. As
a result, players stand a good chance of working with different kinds of people
under various circumstances. Take football as a prime example, a glorious victory
is contributed from rapid decisions and extreme efforts of all members such as
goalkeeper, defenders or attackers. Therefore, thanks to playing sports, children
are educated to excel at social skills,which can make them more mature and Commented [MOU19]: Gradually excel

adaptable in life.

In conclusion, I once again affirm that playing sports is not only for fun but also
brings many health benefits as well as practical values to players.
1. Are of great importance to: có tầm quan trọng với
2. Wholesome (a) good for you, and likely to benefit you physically,
morally, or emotionally: bổ ích, lành mạnh
3. Be likely to: Be likely to is used to talk about how probable things are:
có thể
4. manage to do st: to succeed in doing or dealing with something,
especially something difficult: giải quyết, xoay xở
5. Stand a good chance doing st = be able to do st

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