love it when ppl blorbo tag my posts. like heck yeah i don't know who blorbo blingus or scrunklo bob or lactose the intolerant is but yes my post is totally about him.

Look at her go!

✨Real✨

I think we should prank them and in October throw them a phaby shower

Wine is exactly like omegaverse fanfiction

I was GOING to say. That when you read a wine menu and see something like "notes of leather and wet stone" you think "did an insane person write this its grapes" but after youve read about wine and growing regions and the effect of oak barrels on aging and tasted a bunch of stuff and given it some thought you find yourself taking a sip of french syrah and thinking "mmm little bit of leather on the finish there" and all of a sudden that shits not crazy anymore. Youve been cooked in the soup. Youve been living in the monkey house.

With omegaverse fanfic. You -

You get the idea. Do the work for me. Please

Sorry tanuki fucker 91. I will be clearer. You get coated in the slick

i am jiggling a credit card in the door crack. life is a rich tapestry come take my hand we will weave it together.

Alternate Sixth-Year Bathroom Scene for @the-forbidden-forest Creature prompt!!🤗

“slytherin skittles is better” “the emeralds is better” “the pantheon is better”

actually just so you know barty materialised at the foot of my bed last night to tell me they didn’t name their friend group because that was for losers (and they were called the official marauders hate club, thank you very much)

they would spit on anyone who called them slytherin skittles

WAIT that’s what that means?? 😭😭

everyone always has a dni for proshippers I thought it was something freaky or fucked up 😭😭

Yeah. Antis like to claim that the "pro" means "problematic", but nope. "Pro" (for) is simply the opposite of "anti" (against), and all that "proship" really means is "Let everyone ship what they want, everyone mind their own business".

Listening to antis about what proshipping means is like listening to incels tell you what feminism means.

Ships with height differences. Reblog if you agree

Don’t forget age difference

So much queer discourse is just "i like pancakes" "so you hate waffles?" Type shit

"I believe mspec lesbians are valid" "so you think lesbians just need good dick?"

"I believe trans men can identify as lesbians if they want" "so you think trans men are women?"

"I believe transandrophobia exists" "so you think transfems oppress transmascs?"

No bitch that's a whole new sentence wtf are you talking about

take me to snurch (snail church)

happy 10 years to snurch

oh do not do this to me

paddington meets the pope and the weird dog—dean that follows him around

paddington meets the

pope and the weird dog—dean that

follows him around

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

they resurrected the dire wolf and named one of them remus. now i need someone to write remus' werewolf form as this fluffy cutie

My wife showed me this and goes "just wait until your people see this"

no offense but I heard the evil scientist say he likes studying me better than you

Then why’s he up all night diluting my saliva? Check and mate.

well IM getting moved to a separate chamber tonight so he can keep an eye on me. What about that?

Please, he hasn’t even probed your mind yet. Besides, yesterday he told me that my blood diagnostics were, “abnormal” and “potentially hazardous”. How could you possibly compete with that?

*telekinesis throws a soda can at your head* 

How dare you!!! Evil Scientist!!! Evil Scientist they’re resorting to violence!!! I do not feel very enriched right now!!! I need a bandage and an IV of juice!!!

this is exactly the behavior i’m talking about. You still need juice rewards and screens. I have evolved past these childish activities, I am a model experiment

*sounds of an evil scientist hurriedly scribbling down notes*