number one shion uzuki defender

I think misa death note is unmedicated

She’d make a post like “sorry guys i just cant do this anymore. I started taking antidepressants and im no longer obsessed with kira 😭 Im also realizing this guy i know is not actually my boyfriend so imm going through a lot rn but im doing ok 💖 i’ll probably delete this page but its been fun. I might be a lsebsian”

me after I jack off the silver surfer with this gorilla grip

due to inflation you must answer my riddles five

due to budget cuts i will grant you two wishes

due to recent layoffs there is only one of me and I lie 50% of the time

say what you will about the reserve bank of india these are some cracking coins

I recently got an on-campus job. During the interview process, I requested that I not be scheduled on Friday nights or Saturdays as I am a Jewish student.

My boss immeadiately brightened and rushed to explain - "Of course ! Of course! We want to accomodate you! We have another worker who takes off for Ramadan. Do you need to take off for Ramadan?"

I shook my head, incredibly confused. "Uh. That's. Not my jurisdiction. I'm good." Boss nodded but was sure to add "Let me know if that ever changes. We can help you with Ramadan."

@vangoggles THAT WHAT I WAS SAYING .

And I was finally on a shift with this guy. We were both sitting in silence because we had the ass-crack-of-dawn slot.

Over my coffee and twirling my Magen David necklace around my finger, I say "So. Ahmed. Ramadan.

And Ahmed over his energy drink, sighs - "don't you say shit about that."

#what's the bet Ahmed was just asking for certain shifts during Ramadan and Boss got excited and was like “just take the whole ramadan off!”#“don't even worry about it! we support you! take the time you need!” I'm scheduled to work with him tomorrow morning so will find out then 🫡 .We're both STEM majors who use the early empty hours to study so I will report if I get more than a grunt out of him about it.

another stupid-early morning, and between our respective course loads- him organic chemistry and me pathophysiology- I asked for the full story in how he got all of Ramadan off.

He sighed, and let me know that he did indeed try to explain to our manager that all he needed was to get shifts not around sunrise or sunset. But that in him explaining what Ramadan was, the plot very quickly got lost into this unhinged confusion where our boss was trying to google how people could survive an entire month without food or water.

So halfway through, he decided to pivot and go along with it, expecting less shifts in March because that's a difficult academic time anyway. Then, he had to keep a straight face when the end-product was the entire time off with paid leave.

So, now, he's in a hell partially of his own making where his boss genuinely believes he doesn't eat for a month and is trying to offer all non-Christian workers March off. I offered him time off for Hanukkah. He hit his head against the desk, and groaned.

wait, follow up question, what's he going to do next year when it's not in March anymore?

I was also wondering this, so I asked him this most recent shift together. He paused, considered the question for a moment, then answered- "I'll have to check my syllabus and decide then."

You heard it here first- newest update to the Islamic Calender. Ramadan is dependent on Ahmed's course-load. (He saw this post on a Youtube short and was amused by it, so he doesn't detest the weird tumblr coworker. He also only gets a quarter of his normal paycheck for the month, which is not terrible at all for vacation.)

(Also. My boss is still convinced I observe Ramadan.)

Happy Ramadan to Ahmed and his course load. The Muslim Jewish solidarity nobody could have predicted. 🤣

mad?? i would KILL to have that shirt

A L A N

🥚

In space, nobody can hear you in space.

happy Barely Keeping It Together Wednesday to all who celebrate

This is the kind of messaging you really want to be seeing from the global hegemon

Rug Pull Based Global Economy

CT did you see Trump posting "THIS IS A GREAT TIME TO BUY" 3 hrs before posting his proclaimation? He's doing like a hypershort-term pump and dump it's v fun to see

idk man you hear about facebook's fucking concent moderation farms that basically are only capable of traumatizing it's employees, and it's like oh this is like harmful. and that's lioe one tiny thing about it, like im not trying to mythmake about facebook but simply due to size it has done more evil than you can imagine. but i guess most of that is to people who aren't in the imperial core so who cares or whatever

like this is noteven touching on the fucking aiding genocide and general fucking ethnic violence, i feel fully comfortable saying that facebook has led to more hate crimes than any other social media

Cold War overproduction of nukes is commonly attributed to fears of a "missile gap," despite this being obviously farcical. In reality, this was mere cover for the real reasons: the USSR, as the world's first atheist state, needed a much larger deterrent to keep the angelic legions of heaven at bay, whereas the US's pioneering work on quantum mechanics led to a tense standoff with dozens of different parallel USSRs that threatened to attack simultaneously.

STOP no more live-action remakes. We're going the other way now. Animated Casablanca. Animated The Godfather. Animated Oppenheimer. Animated Fight Club.

bugs is…. shrimp????

Everything costs me money and it's not even that good

FROM THIS