I'm a Birdplaaane

one thing about me as a batman fan is that im not 100% convinced his penis works very good. im completely fine with fanfic where hes horny as hell and fucks like a machine and all that but in my heart of hearts im like. this man has erectile dysfunction.

like first of all theres the psychological aspect, in the sense that that man is stressed the hell out and traumatized and paranoid and juggling like 600% more in his head than the average person, which im told doesnt usually contribute to great boners. so there's that part. getting the man to put down his schedules and business concerns and the three different cases hes working on in the back of his head and the updates he wants to make to the batmobile and all that shit. that guy is Distracted during sex. he loses his boner at least once a session because he starts thinking about killer croc or something and yeah hes freaky but not really in that direction, sorry. this is a thing that happens to him and is a known phenomenon to his partners.

and then second of all physiologically im not convinced that he hasnt mangled his penis to some degree in the course of all the training and crimefighting and whatnot. like even taking extra pains to protect it as im sure he would, all of the times that man has been exploded and thrown through walls and glass and all of the jumping off of buildings and swinging around he does?? i simply dont believe his penis has emerged entirely unscathed. you absolutely cant tell me that in the early days he didnt at least twice take a running leap off of something, misjudge his landing, and absolutely destroy his balls when he slipped and took a wrought iron fence full force between the legs. this must have happened. i know it to be true that this man has scars on his dick that he didn't ask someone to put there on purpose and i do kinda think it could eventually affect his sexual function, even aside from the impact of all of his other various and perpetual injuries causing him pain.

so what im saying is that my headcanon is that batman's dick game is weak as hell at least 50% of the time. what that dick do? today, absolutely nothing. tomorrow, who knows. which tbh i find kinda hot in a roundabout way actually, so. love that for him. sorry about your penis, batman.

In Prince's funky name, amen.

Millennial here. All the above and:

Please send me the training or tutorial in a written format with maybe some screenshots if necessary. I don't want a video tutorial. I don't want to waste time trying to scroll to the exact moment in the instructions that I need and then have to pause and replay it because I missed the .01 seconds of actually relevant information.

Please. Text. Maybe some images for clarification. I can read. I promise.

Skimmable, SEARCHABLE instructions. If they're long, there should be a hyperlinked table of contents.

Elder Millennial here cosigning HARD

If you really need to show a movement, embed a gif or 15-scond-or-less video in the text, like Jod intended.

I work in science communications and I am constantly hearing about how we need to try to do video to appeal to the newest generation of scientists and it's like do you think physicists who can't read are a good idea?

(through gritted teeth) sometimes what's good for your mental health isn't another do nothing day or a little treat sometimes what's good for you is putting in some of the work. Not all of it at once but sometimes you have to finish that essay or at least take the next step or you have to clean your room or at least dust the shelves or you gotta do the laundry or at least put it all in the hamper and it's not fun and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks but you have to because i read a post on the internet that told me that's what being nice to yourself is sometimes

Are you guys ok you’re all reblogging this post a lot

it's in my sister's collection but apparently it takes like 7 hours??? i'm not playing that shit

It takes 7 hours if you don't do the sidequests they added to flesh out the characters. Then its 15, if you're efficient.

Not worth doing Vito's quests tho, finding his ENTIRE spoon collection with anything but a master level in eye spy is hell. Sure. Let me just see three pixels in a bush old man. Ugh. And yeah he gives you his knife from the war that gets you into a neat area in the Chapel but it's not exactly going to help as much as like, Jorge's liquor runs. Which are repeatable until act two.

I know he's a beloved background character but the dev's really overestimated how much we wanted to invest in him.

wait, there's a VIDEO GAME? I thought we were talking about the board game released in 1978

i genuinely think boats are such good places to set a story because it automatically gives you a set of really interesting circumstances -- boats are transitory, you are not meant to stay on them forever, there is an automatic assumption of ending up somewhere different from where you started...characters are forced into close proximity, stakes are higher, etc. boats also just look cool, so that's always a plus

The good news: you get to pick your new soulmate! (You can define "soulmate" however you want: platonic/romantic/partners in crime/etc. But they will be in your life, constantly.)

The bad news: you don't get to pick where they come from.

Spin this wheel until you get a fandom with characters that you recognize. As soon as you do, stop. One of those people* is going to be a constant presence in your life, whether you like it or not. So choose wisely.

*broadly defined

Alright, I spun it five times and didn’t find a fandom where I know even a single character’s name. I give up, I’m clearly meant to die alone.

come play blorbos with me

we can do tghis. our touy

Why are you lgbtq+? wrong answers only GO

i uh

i don’t think i wanna work at lumon

Ncuti Gatwa as Algernon Moncrieff in "The Importance of Being Earnest"

went to a screening of this last night & it was absolutely gorgeous and hilarious and joyful and SO SO JOYOUSLY QUEER & all I could think at the end was YES, this is Oscar Wilde on stage, not even as he meant but maybe - hopefully - as he could have dreamed of.

Or, to quote one of the actors, Sharon Clarke: “I think Oscar [Wilde] would look at this and go, ‘That’s what I wanted to be able to do, but I wasn’t able to do it at that time because of where we were.’”

My brother saved this document and everytime he gets angry at our neighbours for being loud he prints it to their wireless printer and you can hear the wife shout “Why the fuck would you print this AGAIN?!” to her son.

every time we serve chicken at work i think of this post

1.  If you were wondering, you can type the numbers in the works cited into google and they appear to be medical journal articles about using medical imaging to detect and diagnose a rare form of Gastritis.

2. Please enjoy the offical powerpoint presentation of this paper at an academic conference by the original author, complete with Q&A:

THIS IS GOLD

oh m god please watch the video it’s some of the most contagious laughter on the planet

When I saw this cross my dash tonight, I smiled and thought “yess, the chicken chicken chicken post, I get to reblog it again and inflict it on all of the people that have followed me since last time”, and then I scrolled down more and to my utter delight there was A VIDEO, needless to say my night has been made

I HAVE NOT SEEN THE CHICKEN VIDEO IN TEN DAMN YEARS HOLY SHIT

STILL FUNNY

The bell

The last question

The woman howling in laughter 90% of the time

It’s all beautiful

It’s all

So beautiful

I love that he was absolutely 100% prepared for a question in chickenese.

“I do not feel capable summarizing this article”

Same

I want to buy something but it’s like 130 quid which is mental I mean i have the money to get it but . That’s too much to spend surely. And I went to all my irls and said ‘okay if something cost 130 pounds and you had the money would you just buy it’ and they all went “uh yeah immediately obviously”. Am I fucking mad surely you’d take several weeks to deliberate and make sure you were sure and there wasn’t an alternative. Am I actually loosing it please help would you guys do that

please answer with it in mind that you have £130 in this scenario but it would constitute a Large Spend

Batman/Catwoman #12 (2022)

we don't make enough fun of Batman for not being a vampire. seriously this guy:

notice i didn't even mention the whole BAT themed everything. and we're expected to believe this character is NOT a vampire? i'm being baited.

"bisexual?" yes bisexual he's a transgressive leather daddy who goes out in public in his elaborate fursona getup. u dare to call this man a heterosexual?

nothing pisses me off more than when i see a fic on ao3 talking about reach. "this ship isn't here but i added them for reach" "this fandom tag isn't necessary but i'm adding it for reach" "reposting for reach" STOP IT!!!! this is not tiktok this is not twitter this is an ARCHIVE this is not how it works!!!

i will not deal!!!! that is not how any of this works!!!!

if you see people doing this shit, report it. its against the terms of service.

genuinely. copy the link to the fic or series, and then scroll down to the bottom of the page:

click on policy questions & abuse reports which takes you to this page:

if you scroll down, youll be able to report the fic right there but you can also check for yourself that its against ToS

all you need to do is explain that theyre deliberately mistagging things which is just not a thing on ao3 because its an archive.

by posting your fic there, ao3, has the right to manually recategorise tags. its in the ToS:

you cant deliberately mistag stuff on ao3; it is an archive. you cant tag for reach, and this is likely gonna get pat tag wranglers because they deal mostly with form not content of tags and if theyre tagging for reach, its gonna be the more popular tags.

so report the fuck out of them for it. most likely, their fic will just have tags adjusted and their account will be fine.

and if they keep doing it and get suspended for it, its their own damn fault.

also thats not even getting into the fact that mistagging fics is kinda antithetical to their goal of reaching more people because youre not reaching the people who want to read your fic?

Okay fact check: It's not necessarily against the TOS to "mistag".

As the TOS FAQ explains:

What if a work has an incorrect category, relationship, character, or additional tag?

The Policy & Abuse committee will only evaluate the accuracy of tags in mandatory fields. We will not add, edit, or remove incorrect category, relationship, character, or additional tags. Our resources are limited and it would be challenging to impartially and fairly establish or enforce accuracy rules for these types of tags. However, our general policies against harassment and spam apply to all tags, as they do to any content posted on AO3.

Please only report wrong tags for Fandoms, Ratings, and Warnings fields. And even then, it is only under very select circumstances that the Policy and Abuse committee will require a change. I encourage you to review the Ratings and Warnings and Other Tags sections of the TOS FAQ before submitting the complaint.

Policy and Abuse is a small committee and they have a lot of tickets to get through. Don't waste time with reports that are not violations of the TOS.