I hate Crocs.

This post is so fucking funny to me. This is just a pic with a pile of croc shoes crossed out red with the title “I hate Crocs.” OP posted this in 2008 and never posted anything else, we don’t know anything else about them. OP’s URL is the word hatred and nothing else. For some reason however, their url did not get added a “-blog” suffix that the change in 2016 brought (maybe because this was made in 2008 but still. What if someone wants their URL? :( ) Truly the post of all time.

you can hit it raw, i’ve got an IED

you have a wha

“I’m having my son in 2 months and I’m jealous of how cute baby girl clothes are” you can put your newborn son in a little strawberry print romper, I swear. he won’t mind. he won’t develop a complex over it, I promise.

It’s so interesting how heavily gendered baby clothes are an extremely modern phenomenon like even in the midcentury period baby clothes were often the same cut and color for baby boys and baby girls but now you can’t put your son in a pink romper and you have to use baby glue to affix a flower to your daughter’s head so everyone knows she’s a little girl.

Return to androgynous baby. Nobody needs to know what that thing has going on except you.

Let the baby decide when they’re good and ready. Tbh.

DoveBriar is such a sweet ship I love them

Me, refusing to leave tumblr: sir, this is my emotional support hellsite

beepboop. censorbot approved

“Me, refusing to leave: sir, this is my emotional hell” is a funnier text post than my original one, good job censorbot.

hello, future tumblr! this is what we thought was funny in december 2018.

We still think it’s funny in December 2019

We still think it’s funny in December 2020

We still think it’s funny in December 2021

we still think its funny in december 2022

we still think it’s funny in December 2023

Achievement Unlocked:

Only Our Bodies Can Leave

The spirit remains eternally (at least five years)

Achievement Unlocked:

Forever And A Day

Yup, still funny after 6 years…

hey pal it’s april. you got a time machine?

Scrolled past this agakn and just can't get over how much I love it. We need to make things beautiful again and this is such a wonderful example. The beadwork on the wires of a utitarian object, contrasted with the grey concrete.

my luminous mama

Monster fucker this, monster fucker that. What if I want a monster RELATIONSHIP huh?! Monster HAND HOLDING, monster INTIMATE CONVERSATIONS, monster COMFORTABLE SILENCE??

New REBLOG Game

Just fucking lie about the previous poster

Prev put me into a soup and ate it

@midnightfries @fandomsfordays21 @t3m1 @the-mad-rat1

Prev is the biggest Fell hater ever

@qin-qin16 @the-mad-rat1 @sasaleletrebol @gl0wsitckkkk

Prev doesn’t like Sci Sans.

@the-mad-rat1 @jupiter–dream @vin-at-thehub @iheartsillys

Prev literally locked me in a tower with Pure Vanilla Extract

@somevany @multiversewatchpost @dustcrumbs @amberdawolf @luckycyclemaker

Prev likes to eat raw sulfur

@giantdigitalerror @paradoxoftrees @apple-pie-1 @annoyinglittleminion

Prev puts the milk in before the cereal.

if this is actually true I’m cooked

@piou-piou-noir @moldieecheese @loloskacicha

prev most definitely updates his fics regularly mhm yup like everyday yaya in fact they have a schedule n everything ☝🏼

he also hates dream sans like a lot

@pastelaspirations @moraymoth @riotsun @agenderfrenchfry

prev called me a slur then poured root beer on my head 💔

@inkedhorror @artyboidoesstuff @jamesblackburnn1fan @spookytimefelix @dogteath

Prev said they hated best boy Drew and threw my old laptop out the window

@saranootnoot @king-xie @ngqueen @dt-artist1

prev sent me a pipe bomb in the mail 💔💔💔

@spookytimefelix @mxrtified777 @ups3tti @cr-ingefail

prev is felix wolfe’s biggest fan! and also microwaves water to make tea. @absolutelynotsanebaby @foxxism @morrogatari

Prev literally killed a baby in 1856 and also lied about having a 7th toe 🙄🙄🙄

@eights-world @frauggiethecreature

prev fuckin killed my wife and my goldfish and called me every slur ever

@cutleryclown @circus-clownn @joshkiszkashusband @t4t-hantunia @dihopeinc + open tag

prev hates clowns, they are #1 Clown Hater >:[[[

@invaderdemon71 @lumivall @that-silly-raven @thatwordybirb @cosmo-shell @limevein @ubtendo

Sigh… prev ate the dust of my floor

Again..

Lol open tag

Prev is an absolute hater to all their moots

@lumivall @somemismatchedsocks @head—ache

Prev lives under my bed and whispers scary stories to me at night:(

@galacticghoste @yourpalsalamander @sapphanimates

PREV STOLE MY NETFLIX PASSWORD AND USED IT TO WATCH VEGGIETALES IN THE HOUSE AND COCOMELON AND HATERS BACK OFF AND THE SANDY CHEEKS MOVIE AND TURBO FAST.

@alzikeiswrong @chillbeanz @spiritgenie @emioliravioli @knizuu @koreyeet @breadheaddoodles

Prev eats nails.

@pink-artz @meebkinurbestie @jjcocker

Prev stole my pancreas yesterday. It’s okay, they gave it back!

@thatweirdartist-artsy @pestpicque @ramencat12

Prev is a alien in disguise

Prev is a hater of cats

@jungl-leavs @camcamistars @caiman-the-chimera @mangoesbread @tiso-heart

Prev is the reason why Larry exists

@disneyfanatic1993 @hydras-bloom @ealsistersart

Prev is straight

@floralstorms @spacecatdraws @kvotheunkvothe

prev hates dragons. their least favorite thing.

@mrmorphea @candieduranium @mildlybizarrecorvid @mxmorbidmidnight @blairreturns2day

prev loves to eat scented glitter. pounds of the stuff.

@weirdofox12 @adhd-writer-with-liquid-gender @sunnymellow09 @buefried

prev has an irrational fear that a duck is watching them at all times from a distance

@apple-eating-goat @junithelooperrrr @your-third-cat @beegowheee @november32nd @abyssal-citadel @paradox-crows @1247 @nonassociatedidiot @eltanin0 @shroomy-tea @bristolthefurry @balllsboy @staticsandwichez @bugg-bonez

Prev has never eaten a bagel

@doggone-doggirl @fredovichro @indiestsnake @k9mackenzie @artificer-real

prev runs a coin trading business on the side

@mystic-menagerie @spectralgecko @octahedral-chaos @a-rabid-snake @thunder-opossum

prev’s gun is loaded, and he can shoot you

@churrorat-711 @stikbr @harperfrost @letdownthepainful @t00nyah

Prev has laser eyes and will set you on fire

opossum laser eyes attack

@sombrathedragon @yellow-computer-mouse @ethansedai @willoillo @staring-at-a-blank-pagee

first day in the time loop it is not a loop yet. i go about my day and its a pretty good day and when i make my evening cup of tea i wish all days were like this

second day in the time loop and in the moment before waking i have a dream about something i have to do tomorrow. i do not realise i will never get to do it.

third day in the time loop i get hit with a wave of deja vu sitting in traffic. i am bored of the songs on the radio.

fourth day in the time loop i realise i am mouthing along to my lecturer even though i do not know anything about the sampling of early electronic music.

sixth day in the time loop my friend says hello to me and i say 'yes i know'. she looks at me funny and i apologise. she starts telling me about her girlfriend and i simply do not care. i feel mean for not caring. when i get home i accidentally walk into a doorframe which does not improve my mood. i realise i already have a bruise on my elbow.

seventh day in the time loop i realise there has been a cloud shaped like a weasel outside my bedroom window for the last week. i think 'what are the chances of that' and then i realise the chances are very very low.

eighth day in the time loop i skip everything i had planned to sit by the river and read. i know all about the sampling of early electronic music now and if i have to listen to the radio play summertime or my friend talk about her girlfriend and her stupid cat one more time i am going to scream.

ninth day in the time loop the irony of hearing summertime every day becomes apparent. i am trapped in an endless summer day. i remember the saying about not being able to stand in the same river twice so i make a point of standing in the same river for half an hour on the off chance i'm doing it at the same time as i dipped my feet in yesterday just so i could be the exception.

tenth day in the time loop it is very obvious that no one else know they are in a loop. i wonder if the whole world is looped and i'm just the only one who knows it or if i'm the only one who is looped and the world is seeing endless double exposures of me. i wonder which loop is the real one.

eleventh day in the time loop i wonder if i'm aging at all.

twelfth day in the time loop i start to think about video games. playing the same level over and over and over again. you die on the same point of the level every time but you re appear the start to have another go. i wonder what part of the day i am stuck on. which obstacle i have to beat to get to move on to tomorrow.

thirteenth day in the time loop i am remembering everything now. i do not think i did at the start but i can definitely remember what i had for breakfast yesterday morning because that was today. my friend calls me in the middle of the night asking why i wasn't at the lecture. i start telling her that i've already been to that lecture six times when it hits midnight and the loop resets.

fourteenth day in the time loop i drive as far away as possible to see if i still wake up in my bed when the loop resets. i get a cheese and pickle sandwich from a gas station but it sucks so i leave without paying. i do buy a packet of gum though. just not the sandwich. i wonder how food works in a time loop and suppose food consumed gets um-consumed. the radio stills play summertime and as i drive i think about the inherent time loop of a song. the exact same four and a half minutes over and over and over again. i wonder if we have a god complex about our favourite songs. i wonder if i am getting to wound up in the themes of the time loop and if there is an easier way to solve this than getting philosophical. it is a long car ride and i have a lot of time to think. but still only twenty four hours.

fifteenth day in the time loop i get up early wash my hair and sit outside on the porch. a woman walks past with her dog. they were not there on the fourteen day and i think this is a good sign.

sixteenth day in the time loop i open my diary and see that i have been writing on the same page over and over and over. i turn the page and write 'today is tomorrow' in big letters.

on the seventeenth day i the loop breaks. i still don't know what i did. i don't think it was the diary page because that reset but the world didn't. or i didn't. or something. i go to the scheduled lecture and i'm so relieved its not about early electronic samples i get lost in the lecturer's voice and forget to take notes. i order a piece of lemon cake from the cafe because they didn't have it yesterday but they do today. i hang out with my friend and she tells me about some endearing silly thing her girlfriend did and i laugh. it's a nice day. i find myself thinking 'i wish more days were like this' but i don't think i do, actually.

Official Time Loop Post

wнαт тнe ғυcĸ ιѕ тнιѕ?

Elmo’s voice saying “I’ll fuck u up” is the best and worst thing ever

YO I SWEAR THIS SHIT IS TOO FUNNY😭🤣

I WATCH THIS EVERYDAY

She's also publicly stated that she believes that anyone who reads her books or watches her shows and films does so because they explicitly agree with her political views.

There's no "agree to disagree" with her work. Every time you pick up her work or talk about it you are saying to her "I agree with you Joanne" whether you like it or not.

alright trans ppl we're returning to the fucking sea until shit gets better lets go everyone

this is awesome

trans pride flag colorpicked from this crab (i swear all those colors are on the crab itself)

ref sheet commission

reblog this if your blog is a safe space on april fools and won’t have any jumpers, screamers, or anything scary or anxiety inducing

[pt: reblog this if your blog is a safe space on april fools and won’t have any jumpers, screamers, or anything scary or anxiety inducing]

This is just very funny to me.

Not even his robot child likes him

⎓⚍ᓵꖌ╎リ⊣ ꖌ∷╎ꖎꖎ ╎ᓭᓭ⚍ᒷ