asbestos twink

"I'm just a girl", "girl math", "girl dinner", "divine feminine energy", "bimbocore", "clean girl", "girl's girl", "girlfriend brain" SHUT UPPP!!! SHUTT THE FUCKKKK UPPPPPP !!!!

inside me there are two lungs. and one liver. one stomach. a few meters of intestine. there's a lot inside me actually

this is the funniest thing i've read all day

so tru

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors

I work at a bookstore and hearing one of my male coworkers call smutty romantasy "the downfall of society" because it's "literally just porn" radicalized me

Men have an entire industry. Entire industries dedicated to their sexualities. Let women have fantasy sex. there's not even a camera crew involved.

Left this in the notes

Lean into the funny idiot archetype so that when you’re unexpectedly hypercompetent at something they give you The Look where you can see them reexamine their entire perception of you in confusion, respect and no small amount of fear, and when you keep playing funny idiot they will be forever wary of you. Let them find out, incidentally, that the jester keeps a knife under his hat, and never figure out how to deal with that because they won’t abandon their boxes.

i keep mine in my fanny pack :)

fucking love when I'm on a call with someone and they start to do a little errand or go somewhere else and they say "and you're coming with me" like. absolutely I am let's go on an adventure I've been spirited away

ooh ooh or when they accidentally drop the phone or something and go “i dropped you! :(“ like. that little glowing box you’re waving around does indeed house my soul!! it’s me!! you’re holding me!!!! and we’re going on a little trip together!!! delightful!!!!!!!!

i love the suggestion that the device they are holding is my corporeal form. very silly and whimsical

@ulfie-by-osmosis

These men just stole the personal information of everyone in America AND control the Treasury. Link to article.

Spread their names!

elon is really mad about this so it would be a shame if people kept spreading the names around

@ulfie-by-osmosis sushi glory hole

WHY YOU SHOULD WRITE HORRIBLY:

1. You’ll never write anything if you don’t

*with a dark and evil aura surrounding me* I'm shy

just got fired from my job reading erotic fiction for audiobooks because i kept pronouncing “penetrates” like it was a greek philosopher

do you like the colour of interstellar

How is bnha anime of the decade...... they aren’t even anime of the hour of the minute of the second

The notes on this post were so toxic that staff just axed em

1969.........

Yes, when the original post is deleted from the server (not just the blog, but the Tumblr servers), there is no root post for notes to be added onto, and also no root post for time to be counted from, so it starts from zero. Most computer operating systems use Unix, which was launched in 1971 with t.he epoch date of midnight on January 1, 1970 as 1. Therefore zero is one second behind that date: December 31, 1969. Also, very unfortunately, this also means nobody except you and anyone you reblog it to will see this explanation, as you cannot open the notes to see comments when there are no notes.

Tumblr is truly one of the webbed sites ever

ohmg

post's haunted.

i feel so bad for nikola tesla like imagine spending years beefing with a guy who has conned the public into believing he's some sort of supergenius when in reality it's his overworked employees developing all of his world-changing inventions and you end up dying broke and starving and alone and then 100 years later another guy cons the public into believing he's some sort of supergenius when in reality it's his overworked employees developing all of his world-changing inventions and he's doing it all IN YOUR NAME. he must be rolling in his grave like a fucking rotisserie chicken

His ghost is setting those cars on fire actually

I hadn’t really considered “the agnostic demigod of electromagnetism is the reason Musk’s companies fail” before, but I like the concept. 

My new boss: “Everyone come to the team meeting with a surprising story about something you’ve done in the past. Something no one would expect of you!”

Me: Googling the statute of limitation for felonies in Texas

I won.

noooo you can't leave us hanging like this

we demand politely request to know the (alleged) felony!!

Mom, don’t read this.