im in actual disbelief that this just happened while i was writing down this joke to remember later

I got a mental health wellness app and decided my first entry was going to be about a videogame I played that day

No no no we can't make this a holiday I beg you

ROXIE.

happy flesh prison friday

yayyyy flesh prison day

looked at this and freaked out because I noticed that it said “petrolatum” and not “petroleum”.

My whole life I thought that it was some weird byproduct of the oil industry, and I never questioned that belief.

I suddenly remembered every time I had called it “petroleum jelly” and thought that I must’ve looked like a massive idiot.

Anyway, anything that enters my brain is immediately converted into the action of pulling up a Wikipedia article, and as it turns out, it actually is called “petroleum jelly” (which consists of white petrolatum) and is a weird byproduct of the oil industry

lord give you the strength to read the rest of the post 🙏

Liar.

i am going to lose it

I literally have photo evidence </3 (also I love your account)

How dare you say we piss on the poor on this hell of a site

The doll from Bloodborne is one of my all time favorite video game characters

If we lived in an imagined idyllic age of days gone by, Sony would be running TV ads featuring a guy with frosted tips in a sports car saying shit like "switch 2? Try switching 2 Playstation instead" and he'd drive off and you see his car is full of beautiful women and twinks (it's woke) but they'd never do that these days

"oh why are the boys there why is it woke" I'm projecting cherry-picked pieces of modernity I personally find palatable onto my imagined idyllic past that's what makes it imagined and idyllic dipshit

This is so stupid because a year is how we measure time on earth. Imagine if an ant said ‘Hello we have lived in your driveway for 737 queebals 😌’ and ur like ‘what’s a queebal’ and they’re like ‘oh it’s how long it takes for the sun to travel all across the driveway 😌’ and ur like, that measurement of time only applies to beings who live in my driveway. And the ant would be like ‘😌’

This is something only a 4050 queebal-old would complain about 🙄

This is a good reason to have scientific studies saying stuff like, "On average, trans people report happiness when they transition with loving family support and unhappiness when people dump acid on their head," like, yes it is intuitive, yes we knew that, but someday the study that is being passed around under the heading "water is wet," is going to be used to guide a court decision. And sometimes, when the the weather is fair and God smiles, it will result in some judge pounding the anti-trans arguments absolutely flat with a level of precise violence heretofore only seen in people making schnitzels, and that is a thing of beauty.

Every adult collectively lying to reddit user Farting_Dog33 is the sense of community this world so desperately needs

your mid twenties are for being twenty four to twenty six years old

UM GUYS. I JUST NOTICED A CRAZY ISSUE W THE TUMBLR UPDATE.

YOU CAN SEE THE ICONS OF ANONS SOMETIMES.

The way I was able to recognize several anons in one of my inboxes bc of this error. Oh my god. Guys. This isn’t supposed to happen.

Weighing in to say:

YES, I SEE THIS ON MOBILE. HOWEVER I DO **NOT** THINK IT'S SHOWING THE ANON'S REAL IDENTITY.

The profile pictures I see next to anon asks are profile pictures that belong to other, non-anon asks in my ask box also. Some info

I think the bug is the inbox INCORRECTLY attributing anons to neighboring, logged-in asks.

Which is still a bad bug! Considering it makes it look like a long-time follower of mine sent me a spam ask.

And is worse if, say, one of these was anon hate.

But it's NOT the anon's real identity. It's a neighboring ask asker's identity

So if you have anon hate in your inbox that looks like it's attributed to your dear friend, who sends you lovely asks all the time, it was Not them.

CONFIRMED THE BUG IS INCORRECT ATTRIBUTION.

Thanks @thepatchycat for being a test subject. As you can see the icon being attributed to this ask is NOT the patchy cat

The pictured icon belongs to @watchingforcomets who sent me a nice ask about nail polish yesterday which I have not yet answered!

nothing funnier to me than when AI does math wrong. like I get why it happens, it's a language model that's treating the numbers you feed it as words rather than integers and then giving you an answer based on how those words typically appear in a block of text instead of actually performing a calculation. but the one thing computers are genuinely incredible at. you fucked up a perfectly good calculator is what you did, look at it it's got hallucinations

This is the guy who made the first genetically-engineered babies (a horrific ethics violation that landed him 3 years in prison) and his tweets are so unhinged that I genuinely can't tell if he's trying to be funny or is 100% serious

you never know!

You Never Know!

You never know!

You never know!

hey, don't cry. 40,000 in small bills in the bag, alright? quickly

original sin (insider trading)

Fuck all Yall Im forsure naming my son Appleroy Appleroy kelly that’s my son he’s the Qb of the home town foot ball team Appleroy kelly