A devious, unfeeling nerd with a stale, jokebook mentality
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Hillbilly Elegy 2020
Glen Close’s leering Mamaw offers her grandson insights like “there are three types of people: good terminator, bad terminator, and neutral,” and uses bizarre Anti-Polish racism to save him from marijuana. This gives young Vance the strength to make the movie’s Big Heroic Choice — abandoning his addict mother in order to make a job interview at a white shoe law firm.
It gives me no pleasure to report that I dressed exactly like Teen JD Vance when I was in middle school (gigantic AC/DC t-shirts, gigantic Guns N Roses t-shirts, etc).
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Nosferatu 2024
More like snooze-for-a-two (hours). Apparently he was inspired by Batman Returns, a far better movie with a far more compelling slimy/horny guy. Some nice wet crunching noises, DeFoe is always delightful, and it was funny how much Orlok sounded like Jabba the Hutt. Everyone else’s dialogue is affected to the point of being silly and it feels like a miffed attempt at period realism rather than an intentional style. Eventually he does plan to have horror in his horror movies, right?
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Conclave 2024
Ralph Fiennes is delightful as our hero, a vatican gumshoe obsessed with solving the mystery of Which Guys Are Nice. Along the way he bumps mitres with a slew of Church Types known to the true heads, e.g. an Oily Italian Bigot, a telegenic Jesuit-coded Fr Martin type, and John Lithgow — who so perfectly looks his part that I think even his wife would be hard pressed to pick him out of a police lineup of Doughy American Cardinals.
Conclave…
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Sunset Boulevard 1950
When Betty says “don’t you sometimes hate yourself?” you know the Monday Metrograph crowd was hooting and hollering
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