The genuinely bad takes of a Canadian person put onto the internet, but mostly just jokes for me
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The Code 2024
“The thing about relationships is that they’re hard. But if you make it through, then you did it.”
This movie made me insane. Like I walked out of the movie theatre ready to drive the 13 and a half hours down to Utah to find my ex and be like: “we need to watch this movie together, like right now.” Not because I think it could or even want it to fix our relationship. But because for me, my covid…
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Past Lives 2023
When I broke down and cried at the same time as Nora – was that in-yun?
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Novocaine 2025
“Open the vault or I open her brain-can.”
Honestly way more fun than I was expecting, the one joke double nepo baby movie delivered. Genuinely though, the action is enjoyable, the kills are spectacular, and there’s some pretty effective dramatic irony. Also, at one point Nate frights a nazi who has a “don’t tread on me” flag on the ceiling, and it’s nice to see those connections shown in a mainstream film. Also, they really got me in the end…
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Ash 2025
This movie swings like a pendulum between being unbelievably cool and unbelievably dull. For example, a lot of the exterior environments especially the skylines looks incredible but then the industrial design of the base and space ship interiors are some of the most generic looking stuff you’ll ever see (it does look better latter in the film with the addition of cycling rainbow RGB gamer lighting). Some of the film’s strongest visuals are the jump-scare flashes of violence and gore…
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Mickey 17 2025
So Michael 17 was fun, I’m mostly going to complain about it, but I did have a lot of fun. The threads of the narrative tie together for a satisfying climactic sequence that’s full of callbacks to moments that didn’t previously seem to be so important, as is the way I have come to expect from Bong Joon-ho. Also as I have come to expect from Bong, the ending is kinda overlong and reduces the impact of that climax a…
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2001: A Space Odyssey 1968
So when I sat down to watch this movie, I thought it would be a vibe to ask my own personal HAL 9000 (my google home) to play the movie for me. The googs clearly did not understand what I was asking because instead it did a search of the available options on my services and the results included the movie I was looking for and Pokémon The Movie 2000 (which numerically I can only assume is the prequel to…
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