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just another tumblr person :)

@awwyeah107

20-something, she/her. Christian & fan of many fandoms. Sideblog is fandomsandfairytales.
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pierrotdoesnteat

positivity train!

if you see this or are tagged in it, tag a couple of your favorite mutuals/blogs and let them know you appreciate seeing them on your dash!

thank you so much for the tag @iwanderbecauseimlost!!!! 💕💕💕 right back at you!

positivity train! if you see this or are tagged in it, tag a couple of your favorite mutuals/blogs and let them know you appreciate seeing them on your dash!

*blinks in surprise*

Well, backatcha @aureentuluva70, thanks for the tag

I'm not mutuals with many people, but special shoutout to @thegreenleavesofspringinsunlight and @awwyeah107

aww thanks!! :D this made me so happy to see! Tagging ya right back :)

@thegreenleavesofspringinsunlight @scleroticstatue @afaroffsong @winterinhimring @dreamingthroughthenoise @starspray @abyssalcitrus @muse-write @siena-sevenwits I'm not directly mutuals with all of you but I do enjoy seeing your posts and interacting with y'all!

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Maedhros & Maglor (Tolkien) Characters: Maedhros (Tolkien), Maglor (Tolkien) Additional Tags: Maedhros and Maglor Week, Maedhros and Maglor Week 2025, this is gonna hurt guys, sorry - Freeform, Angst, Not A Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Siblings, Brothers, Caretaker Maglor, (essentially), Maglor Needs a Hug (Tolkien), Maedhros Needs a Hug (Tolkien), BOTH of them need hugs (from each other and in general), no beta we die like…uh…never mind Summary: A oneshot on the complex relationship of Maglor, Maedhros, and giving.

For Maedhros & Maglor Week 2025.

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WIP Word Train

Rules: tagger gives a word, then for each letter of that word you share an excerpt from your WIPs that start with that letter.

Tagged by @queerofthedagger Thank you! My word is HOME (which is very fun considering I've been working on some fics with that as their theme)

H - This is Not a Second Chance (Celebrimbor gets dragon-amnesia post-fall of Nargothrond and gets found by his father and uncles; canon still happens after that and I try to make all the readers cry)

He did not know what that word Tyelpë meant. Could only hold the dog and shake as that one order - run, run, run - began to fade away, leaving him empty and hollow. “Help,” he said, the word a cracked whisper. The word choked with smog and burning and terror that erased every thought. He held tight onto the dog as he spoke. “Help.”

Time after that turned into a blurr. There were hands that lifted him up. Gentle, careful of his burns and scratches, cradling him close. More words, some in a language he understood and others in a language he felt that he should know but could not remember. The dog left when he was placed onto a horse. He cried but did not know why. 

Had he run far enough? Had he been caught? 

“Easy, Tyelpë,” said the moonlight-haired elf. “We’ll be at Amon Ereb soon. Just hold onto the horse and trust me to lead, all right?”

He said nothing. The elf’s words fell on him like snow: cold, making him shiver, disappearing through the gaps in his mind. 

O - Oh Sing, Defiant Stars (all SoF survive the kinslayings but Maglor gets amnesia at Sirion and still does a twin kidnapping; very NOT canon-compliant)

One hand was made from metal, glinting like polished brass. The lord, Lindir guessed, from how everyone else backed away or bowed to him. The leader and the one who would decide how best to hurt him. 

But the lord’s hands, when he reached out, only ghosted over Lindir’s shoulders. “Laurë,” he said again, that strange word.

Should he bow? Lindir had not bowed for the orcs no matter how much they kicked him, but they had been servants of Morgoth. These were elves - but they were also murderers. The words stayed stuck in his throat, and all he could do was stand there, dumb and shaking, eyes dropping to the ground. He couldn’t look at the red-haired lord, or the beautiful horses, or the bright, eight-pointed star that decorated the deep red banners. His heart ached. His head screamed, as though something deep within the back of his mind was trying to tear it apart. 

“Bring the healers,” ordered the lord. He may have said other things, but Lindir could barely focus on his words.

M - To Haunt These Golden Halls (Maedhros searches and grieves for his lost brother; Maglor misunderstands and thinks he's happier without him - happy ending don't worry)

Maglor said nothing, could only stare up at his brother, drinking in the sight of him. Centuries upon centuries had dulled his memories, tarnishing the image of Maedhros. Now, there he stood, alive again, and there were a thousand things Maglor wanted to say. 

I missed you, I’m sorry I could not reach you in time. That I threw it away. I was right to throw it away. Do you forgive me? I’m sorry I was not enough to keep you in life. Please say you forgive me. Maedhros, Maitimo, Nelyo, I missed you. 

His mouth stayed locked shut. 

Would Maedhros yell at him now? Chase him out of the garden? Welcome him and kiss his forehead, like he had when Maglor was small and woke up from a nightmare? He tensed and waited. 

But Maedhros only stared down at him and said, “What is your name, stranger, and what are you doing at my home?”

E - Little Crab in the Big City (Fëanor forgets his crab son in the Valinor shopping district and so Maglor and Bilbo go on an adventure together. Maedhros is never trusting his father to babysit ever again)

Even Aman, with all its power, could not prevent a mortal mind from slowly breaking down. Or so Gandalf had sadly warned him. 

The crab scuttled a little to the left and then a little to the right, giving Bilbo a few more clicks of his claw. Above their heads came the cry of a bird - a seagull, perhaps, though Tirion was far away from the coast - and the poor thing hid behind Bilbo’s leg. 

“There, there, do not fear. I will not let such a well-mannered creature such as yourself become dinner.” Bilbo held out a hand. “A busy street such as this is no place for someone so easily trampled. Would you care to travel with me?”

The crab let out a series of fast clicks, eagerly scurrying forward. Carefully, Bilbo lifted him up and placed him on his shoulder, wrapping one long end of his scarf around the crab to keep him warm. 

“Excellent. It has been far too long since I’ve had a companion on an adventure.” Bilbo opened up his notebook and readied his pen. “Now then, where was I? Oh yes…”

Tagging, with your word being CRAB: @dreamingthroughthenoise @lordgrimwing @beatles4ever65 @thelordofgifs @camille-lachenille @whovianofmidgard @leucisticpuffin @awwyeah107 @veilder @starspray and anyone else who wants to. No pressure, of course!

#wow two amnesia fics my brain is really into that trope I am so excited to see what becomes of these fics!!! 👀These bits are so tasty and angsty and AAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Also I am thrilled that you're writing more Crablor :D

Thanks for tagging me!! Love that the word is CRAB, lol.

C - but for the look in his eyes (ongoing Celebrimbor-is-taken-at-the-parley-instead-of-Maedhros bullet-point fic)

  • Curufin creeps into the room where Maglor is sitting by Maedhros’ bedside. His second oldest brother looks tired, worn; Curufin hates himself for what he is going to ask, and the sight of Maglor’s exhaustion makes him hesitate. But he hesitates too long. Maglor sees him.
  • “What is it, Atarinkë?”
  • He can hear the attempted softness in Maglor’s voice, but it still comes out creaky and ragged around the edges.
  • He bows his head, feeling like a child.
  • “Makalaurë…”
  • He can see his brother open his mouth, looking impatient, but he raises his head to look at him, and whatever Maglor sees on his brother’s face makes him close his mouth.
  • “Were the healers not busy with their patients, I would ask for a sleeping tincture…whenever I close my eyes, I see…I see…” He cannot finish the sentence, not with the sob rising in the back of his throat. He swallows painfully.
  • “Could you…could…” His voice is trembling now, and he finally swallows his pride and projects his desire to Maglor through ósanwë.
  • Maglor’s expression gentles, and he sighs. “I cannot leave Nelyo.” He pats their oldest brother’s hand [...] on the bed next to him, and Curufin immediately feels a wave of guilt wash over him [...]
  • “But if you would still prefer it, then you can stay here.” He pauses and then pats his leg. “Here, Curvo.”
  • He comes gratefully, and now beyond caring, he crumples by Maglor’s side and rests his head on his brother’s lap, as he did centuries upon centuries ago. He needs that ancient memory now, he thinks, to comfort him. To remind him what they are fighting for.
  • Maglor begins to hum, a simple, soft melody, and then begins to sing in a voice tinged with gold, shot through with the gentlest care, and Curufin falls asleep.

(Spoilers omitted :P)

R - but for the look in his eyes

  • “Respect for our lord, now.” Mairon grips his shoulder and pulls his hair, forcing his head back.
  • And Tyelpë looks up and up and up at the dark Vala towering over him.
  • Morgoth’s eyes are like cold flame, an intense blue that seems to shift in hue with every blink.
  • Everything about him emanates darkness; it is as though instead of projecting brightness, he projects shadow. Any light that comes close to him is instantly absorbed.
  • Tyelpë had seen Morgoth once or twice in Aman, back when he was known as Melkor, but never close up. His family had greatly distrusted Morgoth his entire life, and his father kept him as far away from the Vala as possible.

A - Celrond [Celebrían x Elrond] fic (don't want to reveal the name quite yet; it's a fluffy, sweet oneshot of the two of them exploring the woods around Imladris)

And then all of a sudden, he turned, and for a split second panic flared within her as she thought she would crash into him. But he quickly caught her hands and used her momentum to pull her into a spin. She let out a surprised laugh as he did so, and they turned, the spin becoming less coordinated as they both became dizzy, and then they staggered to a halt, breathless and giddy. They were both too busy smiling at each other like fools while catching their breath to realize that they were still holding hands.

B - yet to be named Finrod-centric fic (Finrod and Beren are rescued from Sauron's dungeons and Finrod reunites with [redacted character] later on)

Blood. Blood everywhere. Blood on his hands, and on his face, and on the rough stone beneath him. Finrod fell back into darkness. He woke to the sound of singing close by, and that was how he knew he must be awake—for there was no singing in Tol-in-Gaurhoth, and in his dreams it was always far away. That was Orodreth and...Maglor? He shook his head in disbelief; he must still be dreaming. Why would his cousin be here? His head muzzy with sleep, he attempted to stand up, but his feet caught in a blanket that was covering him, and he pitched forwards. His hands found the ground first, yet he did not have the strength to prevent himself from fully face-planting into the earth. Finrod groaned as he pulled himself up with shaking arms. All he could think was that he needed water, and he needed to know if Beren was alright, and he needed…he needed… He turned to try to pull his feet out from the blanket, but pain lanced through his side and he felt a shriek rip through his throat as darkness took him again.

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Thanks again for the tag :)

Tagging @darkfrozenabyss @sweetteaanddragons @thegreenleavesofspringinsunlight and anyone else who wants to participate! Your word is THEN. (Mainly because I kept finding that a large portion of my sentences began with those letters when I was looking for snippets to include in this post.)

i think people get so used to their own creative work that they forget how amazing it is so i’m making this post as a reminder You are the only person capable of making art the exact way you make it. nobody else on earth can do that. there are always going to be those little habits and intricacies and details that simply cannot be replicated whether it’s in writing or painting or textiles and you make life all the better for it i love my friends’ art i love art from strangers im trying to love my own art I LOVE YOU!!! THE PERSON READING THIS!!!!!!! YOU ARE A PART OF THIS WORLD NEVER EVER STOP MAKING THINGS THAT CAN IMPACT IT

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How It (Was) Made: Star Jacket

So, some of y’all have seen the star coat I gave @thegreenleavesofspring for Christmas. I wanted to make a post to show the process of painting the star on the back, because I was excited about & really enjoyed doing it, I haven’t gotten to share the process of making it with anyone yet (and wanted to!), and I thought this post might be helpful for anyone else looking to do a similar project.

If you’ve read the Sons of the Star series and/or the spin-off Annaáuchiwee, you probably know that the Ways, along with anyone under their protection, each have a leather jacket with an eight-point star on the back: their family symbol. So, my idea was to give Bri her own jacket with the star :)

Now, I hadn't done anything like this before. I’ve painted before, but not frequently or on fabric, let alone any kind of leather. However, I was confident I could do it with a bit of planning and research. It came down to the following steps: 1) acquire jacket 2) acquire other necessary materials (paint, finisher, etc.) 3) figure out what size to make the star 4) prep, paint, and finish the jacket.

This coat is among the best gifts I've ever gotten and I grin like a lunatic every time I see it. It's also one of the most incredible pieces of fanart ever made.

🥹😭🥰

It's one of my favorite gifts I've ever made/given 😁 Also aww, thank you, what a compliment! ❤️

Funnily enough, my definition is basically the same as yours, except the one I gave you is just slightly more in the "jacket" category to me. XD

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How It (Was) Made: Star Jacket

So, some of y’all have seen the star coat I gave @thegreenleavesofspring for Christmas. I wanted to make a post to show the process of painting the star on the back, because I was excited about & really enjoyed doing it, I haven’t gotten to share the process of making it with anyone yet (and wanted to!), and I thought this post might be helpful for anyone else looking to do a similar project.

If you’ve read the Sons of the Star series and/or the spin-off Annaáuchiwee, you probably know that the Ways, along with anyone under their protection, each have a leather jacket with an eight-point star on the back: their family symbol. So, my idea was to give Bri her own jacket with the star :)

Now, I hadn't done anything like this before. I’ve painted before, but not frequently or on fabric, let alone any kind of leather. However, I was confident I could do it with a bit of planning and research. It came down to the following steps: 1) acquire jacket 2) acquire other necessary materials (paint, finisher, etc.) 3) figure out what size to make the star 4) prep, paint, and finish the jacket.

This coat is among the best gifts I've ever gotten and I grin like a lunatic every time I see it. It's also one of the most incredible pieces of fanart ever made.

🥹😭🥰

It's one of my favorite gifts I've ever made/given 😁 Also aww, thank you, what a compliment! ❤️

How It (Was) Made: Star Jacket

So, some of y’all have seen the star coat I gave @thegreenleavesofspring for Christmas. I wanted to make a post to show the process of painting the star on the back, because I was excited about & really enjoyed doing it, I haven’t gotten to share the process of making it with anyone yet (and wanted to!), and I thought this post might be helpful for anyone else looking to do a similar project.

If you’ve read the Sons of the Star series and/or the spin-off Annaáuchiwee, you probably know that the Ways, along with anyone under their protection, each have a leather jacket with an eight-point star on the back: their family symbol. So, my idea was to give Bri her own jacket with the star :)

Now, I hadn't done anything like this before. I’ve painted before, but not frequently or on fabric, let alone any kind of leather. However, I was confident I could do it with a bit of planning and research. It came down to the following steps: 1) acquire jacket 2) acquire other necessary materials (paint, finisher, etc.) 3) figure out what size to make the star 4) prep, paint, and finish the jacket.

My 2024 Fics Review

This is a round-up of the fics I published in 2024—including a list of the fics, some of my thoughts on each of them, and a customized AO3 wrapped of my own :)

Quick list of my fics this year:

I'm putting my thoughts on my fics and the AO3 wrapped below the cut. Names of the fics below are colored just to make it easier to distinguish where I start talking about a different fic, there's no specific reason for the colors other than I like them. All links for my fics go to AO3.

2024 Fic Recs

Hello and welcome to my fic recs from 2024 post :)

Like in 2023, the vast majority of fanfiction I read has been Tolkien-centric; my hyperfixation is still going strong, lol. I also got into Longmire (the TV show; I haven’t read the books yet), so there’s a handful of Longmire fanfics in here too. And as I said last year, buckle up, because it’s a pretty long post (this one’s got roughly 80 fics, not counting series!).

For each fic, I’ll give a one-sentence summary and then my thoughts on the fic! I’ll also mention whether the fic is a oneshot, doubleshot (2 chapters), or a multi-chapter fic, as well as the fic rating. I’m sorting the Tolkien fics into series, topic-based, character/time/place-focused, AUs & others, and then I’ll put the non-Tolkien fics at the end. I am including in-progress fics in each of those categories.

Credit to @cafekitsune for the galaxy banners used to separate the sections :)

final post of 2024

God is good. This last year might’ve been the worst of your life, or the best. And either way God is good.

You might not know the why of what you’ve been through, or where you’re going, but He does. He knows exactly what your purpose is and the hard road that purpose is. You’ve just gotta put one foot in front of the other and rely on Him through it.

Because if God is for us, who can be against us?

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Welcoming in the New Year (technically two hours from now) by reading Psalm 118—both in remembrance of 2024, and in celebration of 2025.

2024 “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; For His lovingkindness is everlasting.

From my distress I called upon the Lord; The Lord answered me and set me in a large place.

It is better to take refuge in the Lord Than to trust in man.

You pushed me violently so that I was falling, But the Lord helped me. The Lord is my strength and song, And He has become my salvation.

The Lord has disciplined me severely, But He has not given me over to death.

I shall give thanks to You, for You have answered me, And You have become my salvation.

You are my God, and I give thanks to You; You are my God, I extol You.” ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭118‬:‭1‬, ‭5‬, ‭8‬, ‭13‬-‭14‬, ‭18‬, ‭21‬, ‭28‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬

2025 “The Lord is for me; I will not fear; What can man do to me?

I will not die, but live, And tell of the works of the Lord.

Open to me the gates of righteousness; I shall enter through them, I shall give thanks to the Lord.

This is the day which the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord; We have blessed you from the house of the Lord.

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; For His lovingkindness is everlasting.” ‭‭Psalm 118‬:‭6‬, ‭17‬, ‭19‬, ‭24‬, ‭26‬, ‭29‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬

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Clouds on the last day of 2024. The year had its rough side but I saw a lot of beautiful things.

hey one really really important thing that people need to realize about suicidality is that when you're trying so hard to find reasons not to kill yourself, your brain often will not let you use the people in your life as valid reasons. the unhealed part of your brain will try incredibly hard to convince you that everyone around you would be better off without you; that you'd be doing them a favor by no longer being in their lives. this is objectively untrue, but your ability to be rational is extremely skewed when you are in the throes of suicidality.

with this in mind, you need to know two things:

1) you are NOT selfish or broken or evil for needing to find a reason besides the people around you, and

2) it is IMPORTANT that you try your hardest to find a different reason if you can't use your loved ones as reasons to stay.

some of the best reasons to stay that your brain can't rationalize itself out of are pets and plants. things that are living, that depend on you, and would not ever be able to understand your sudden absence. my cat Penny is one of the biggest reasons i'm still here.

again, i have to reiterate this:

please do not feel guilty for having to find some other reason to live besides your loved ones. it follows that when the voices in your head are trying to convince you that the world would be better off without you in it, the first thing they'd attack would be what you'd THINK is the most obvious reason for a person to stay alive. you're not broken beyond repair for having to look for a different reason. whatever reason you need to use is not important. what is important is that it works for you, and keeps you here with us.

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