MY MASTERLIST

I've recently started writing Merlin content, Merthur specifically. I'm new to the fandom (I'm still surprised it's still alive!), so I hope my content is of your liking.

My merthur stories in tumblr:

My merthur stories in AO3:

Other random merlin/merthur stuff:

The song that was playing in Arthur's head when he was doing the ritual to travel back in time to save Merlin:

Part 2 of my angst Merthur AU where Merlin has the short-term memory of the girl of 50 First dates. For more context read part 1 HERE

Credits to @mine087 and @warypumpkin whose comments/ideas left on the first part I used for this part.

Most days Arthur can fool Merlin. By the time he lifted the ban on magic, he had well-crafted routine. Merlin would wake up asking for Gaius and the druids, who now worked as physicians in the castle, would tell him Gaius went to the suburbs to treat an illness and would be back tomorrow. And when a very upset and confused Merlin claimed Gaius had been kidnapped, they would tell Merlin he must have really hit his head hard because Agravaine's conspiracy with Morgana to kidnap Gaius happened months ago. Then Merlin would get out of his room and discover a Camelot that welcomed magic again and that would distract him enough. Then, in a stroll around the citadel, Arthur would relate him what supossedly happened in the battle where they saved Gaius and finally defeated Morgana.

But there were also the bad days. Where Merlin cannot be convinced that easily and finds out the truth by his own means. He would scream and shout in dispare and rage, Arthur always being the reciever of it. Yelling at him for lying to him, for making his life a set up, blaming him for Gaius' dead, his condition, everything. And then...

One particular night-over year since the accident-someone does something different when Merlin has one of his "bad days".

After a moment of quiet reflection in his room, Merlin resolves to seek out Arthur. But when he arrives, Arthur’s chambers are empty. Deciding to wait, Merlin glances around, curious if anything has changed in the past year. Yet Arthur was careful enough to keep it as how it was a year ago.

Then, something catches his eye—a book on Arthur’s desk, unfamiliar and out of place. Merlin picks it up, flips it open, and recognizes Arthur’s handwriting.

Another dawn. Another day of lies.

Today Merlin moved through the day as if nothing were wrong. He approached me smiling again, asking if Gaius had returned from his trip yet. I told him no, not yet. Not until tomorrow.

I never thought I could despise a word as much as I hate "Tomorrow."

A shudder runs through Merlin. How many times has Arthur said it? How many times has he promised a tomorrow that would never come?

He nodded and joked about Gaius’s terrible sense of time. I laughed. It tasted like ash.

He teased me, rolled his eyes at council meetings, even scolded me for not wearing a thicker cloak in the cold. For a few hours, I could pretend. Pretend that Gaius was just away. Pretend that Merlin was still himself. Pretend that I hadn’t failed them both so utterly.

Pretend Merlin doesn’t loathe me.

Merlin turns the page, his fingers brushing over the smudged ink—tears, perhaps, or the shaky hand of a man pushed to his limits.

Gods, this is worse than battle. Worse than betrayal. Every morning, I resurrect a dead man for him. Every night, I bury Gaius anew.

And another page.

Is this how Morgana felt?

She, too, lived in a world of half-truths, of secrets festering until they poisoned her. I failed to see her pain until it curdled into hatred. Now I watch Merlin’s face fracture every time he dicovers the truth.

Perhaps this is my penance. For Morgana. For Merlin. For not listening to them when it matter.

And another page.

Merlin, I was a fool. You warned me time and again and I dismissed you. I called you an idiot, a coward, when all along, you were the wisest of us all. How many times did you save me, only for me to repay you with scorn? I thought I was being a king—strong, unshaken—but I was only proud. And now, when I think of the secrets you must have carried alone, the burdens you bore in silence… I should have listened. I should have trusted you. I'm sorry.

The journal trembled in his grip. Arthur’s pain was raw, unfiltered. Not the king, not the warrior. Just a man drowning in regret. For Morgana. For Gaius. For him. For everything.

I'm ruined.

Merlin looks at me, and I want to live in that gaze forever. He touches my arm to steady me, and my skin burns. He speaks, and I hang on every word like a drowning man gasping for air.

Gods help me, I love him.

And it is the cruelest twist of fate that he will never know.

How could he? When every morning, he wakes up not remembering the day before? When every night, I am forced to lie to him again? When the truth of my feelings would only burden him further.

I could tell him. Just once, just to see how it feels to say it aloud. But what then? Tomorrow, he would wake up, and it would be gone. And I would be left with the hollow echo of a confession he cannot keep.

No. This is my penance, too. To love him silently. To carry this alone.

So I will love him in silence. And I will let him go every day. And that will have to be enough.

The journal slipped from Merlin’s fingers, landing on Arthur’s desk. The weight of Arthur’s words pressed against his chest, the last confession carving deeper into his heart.

A year. An entire year of Arthur carrying this alone. A year of Arthur waking each morning to carve open his own wounds, just to spare Merlin the pain of knowing. The grieve.

And what has he done in return? Screamed. Blamed. Twisted the knife deeper every chance he got. Responded Arthur's relentless love with nothing but anger in return.

The door creaks open. And Merlin doesn't need to turn to know who it is.

The note reads: Arthur loves you. You love him. Gaius is gone. It’s not your fault. It's not his either. Stop hurting him.

And they talk. The good and the bad about the thing they've done before and after the accident. Somehow they end up lying in bed, side by side.

Shortly after, Merlin falls asleep in Arthur's arms.

That's all I got for now (again)

Tagging @andrealux21 , @keitorin3 , @keepsecretsjusttokeepu , @escespace , @sugar-coated-prat-dragon , @herstarlight

Well I do have a # where I link all the parts and related posts of the AU in my pinned masterlist, but I guess is still tedious to check every post there. So I'll make an exclusive masterlist for my merthur time travel AU here now:

¡¡Official masterlist of Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU!!

SERIES 1: PART 1 , PART 2 , PART 3 , PART 4 , PART 5 , PART 6 , PART 7 , PART 8 , PART 9 , PART 10 , PART 11 , PART 12 , PART 13 , PART 14 , PART 15 , PART 16 , PART 17 , PART 18 , PART 19 , PART 20 , PART 21 , PART 22 , PART 23 , PART 24 , PART 25 , PART 26 , PART 27 , PART 28 , PART 29 , PART 30

TRAILER SERIES 1 (made by @ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral )

SERIES 2: PART 1 , PART 2 , PART 3 , PART 4 , PART 5 , PART 6 , PART 7 , PART 8

TRAILER SERIES 2

Arthur in my Merthur Fic "Protecting the Dragonlord’s son" :

Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU (SERIES 2)

FIRST PART (SERIES 1) >> PREVIOUS PART >> NEXT PART

In Gaius' Tower. Gaius is tending to Gwaine, while Merlin patches up Arthur. Percival and Lancelot sit nearby, keeping an eye on Gwaine and Arthur in case they’re needed.

Awww thank you! 😊 I won't be long in updating this time.

Actually I'm planning to do a schedule. Just let me organize myself better.

“You can't…” A red-faced Merlin cuts off his thoughts before they can go any further. “You can't just grab people like that!”

Arthur blinks a few times, confused.

“Is this because I touched your face?”

“NO!” Merlin curls into a ball, though he still looks at him very angry. “You haven't stopped touching me since I arrived!”

“Yes, I've always touched you,” Arthur states matter-of-factly. “What's the problem?”

“You're doing it differently!”

It's not until it occurs to him that the red on Merlin's face isn't due to anger but to an entirely different emotion that the prince's frown melts into understanding. Oh... he thinks, and almost feels the urge to laugh. He's embarrassed .

"Is this... is this because you like me?" A sly grin spreads across his face.

Indeed, Merlin turns impossibly redder.

“No! Of course not!”

“Look, I understand that my touch might… excite you, but—”

“Fuck off!” His servant throws a pillow at his head, but that doesn’t stop the prince from laughing in his face. “That has nothing to do with it.”

“By the gods, Merlin!” the prince laughs. “Are you actually shy around me?”

Arthur never thought he’d live to see this day. Merlin, his bold, cheeky, ever-defiant Merlin, was being… shy?

His servant throws another pillow at him, though this time the prince is able to dodge it. “This has nothing to do with my feelings, you big, arrogant, royal ass!”

“Of course it does, look at you.” Arthur gestures at Merlin’s hunched form, still pressed against the headboard. “You didn’t react like this before. It’s obvious it’s because you like me now.”

“No, it's not like that because I liked you before!”

The words tumble out before Merlin can stop them, and he immediately regrets it. His face burns hotter than ever, and he wishes he could bite his own tongue. Why did he say that? He doesn’t need to give Arthur more ammunition to tease him!

Arthur isn't mocking, however. Instead, his eyes are wide open, as if he's equally or more astonished than Merlin by the accidental revelation.

“Since when?” Arthur asks, his tone surprisingly serious.

NEW CHAPTER!! :D (finally)

How Merlin and Arthur's mind will sound when they finally find out they are both from the future:

Merlin as Arthur's familiar/Arthur's shapeshifter falcon AU

FIRST PART >> PREVIOUS PART >> NEXT PART

After finding no trace of the chicks still, Uther, at the request of his ward and fearing Arthur's reaction himself, makes an announcement to his people that prince's bird pets are lost and whoever finds them and brings them back-preferably before the prince comes back-will be rewarded.

The next day comes, the prince will arrive at any moment and there's no news yet.

Uther, Morgana and Gwen waiting anxiously in the throne room for Arthur and his scort.

Merlin as Arthur's familiar/Arthur's shapeshifter falcon AU

FIRST PART >> PREVIOUS PART >> NEXT PART

(Sorry for leaving this AU abandoned for too long. Here's the next part of the Merthur chicks adventures :D)

For the first time Arthur was right. It was indeed a not dangerous quest. Dress in peasants clothes, the Prince and his knights could easily find out the reason behind the riots. It turns out the landlord of the village was rather mediocre at his job. He prefered to expend the money in luxuries rather than look after his people's needs. He wouldn't even let his the farmers harvest and order them to plant flowers instead because they looked "more beautiful". Arthur couldn't understand how someone could be so insensitive... until he met the man.

The man was thin, rather femenine, not just because of his extravagant clothes, shoes with highheels and excesive make up, but due to his gestures and way of speaking. A rather mannered man.

Comission made by @trickytrick (Again, thank you so much!!🤧)

Based on this part of my Merthur Time Travel AU

This is also a gift for @ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral for making this beautiful trailer of the same AU for me. (I know it's a bit late, but I hope like it as much as I liked it)

Another angst merthur AU that occured to me recently.

So remember the 50 First Dates movie? where a girl has short-term memory due to an accident and forgets the boy when she falls asleep, so he resolves to win her over again each new day.

Well, what if Merlin had this condition?

It would be during "The Secret Sharer" chapter when Merlin goes with Gwaine to look for Gaius after Arthur didn't listen to him about Agravaine. In this AU Merlin doesn't get there in time, Gaius dies and, in his rage and sorrow, his magic lashes out and destroys the cave they were in, killing Morgana and Agravaine in the process. Gwaine gets out there in time but Merlin ends up under the rubble, so Gwaine, after trying to dig Merlin out in vain, goes to the citadel to get help.

Arthur and the rest of the knights arrive there as fast as they can and dig for hours. Gwaine doesn't tell Arthur about Merlin's magic, he just says they found Agravaine conspiring with Morgana, that Agravaine killed Gaius and, suddenly, the cave collapsed. Arthur digs more desperatly, filled with guilt and not wanting to accept Merlin is dead. Time passes and they find Morgana's and Agravaine's corpses, but not Merlin's. The knights try to tell his king there's no way Merlin could've survived this, that he's gone, but Arthur won't listen and keeps searching.

Finally, when the sun is about to rise, they find Merlin unconcious, severely injured, but alive, just barely. They take Merlin back to the citadel, but, since they have physician no more, they turn to the druids for medical attention for Merlin. To the surprise of the king, they are more than willing to help his servant.

When Merlin wakes up, the last thing he remembers is his fight with Arthur about Gaius being the traitor and then nothing. Arthur doesn't want Merlin to relive the pain of lossing Gaius, but he must tell him, so he breaks the bad news to his friend. The image of Merlin going from denial to let out a heart-rending cry and finally shouting at him in anger for letting this happen, will forever hunt him. So when Merlin yells at him to leave, he obbeys. The least he could do is spare Merlin from the presence of the person that has failed him.

Some time later. At night. In Merlin's room.

Arthur doesn't say anything else, just gets out of the room very conflicted. He talks about what Merlin told him to his knights and, when he sees Gwaine's reaction, he knows Merlin wasn't lying. Arthur feels betrayed, of course, that Merlin has lied to him all this time, but then Gwaine, ultimate Merlin defender, reproaches him "Can you blame him?". And Arthur knows it's true. The one time Merlin has trusted him with something, he has failed him.

And Arthur realises, that's how Merlin wanted him to feel, because that's how he made Merlin feel. He is paying him with the same coin.

Or maybe he is testing him. Seeing what Arthur will do.

Arthur just knows that he can't execute Merlin, he won't, especially after almost lossing him along with Gaius due to his own blindness. So he waits till next morning to tell Merlin that. That he is forgiven and will not be executed, that he's willing to gain his trust, work hard to amend for his mistakes.

The next morning comes, but when Arthur enters the room...

They call the druids again to check on Merlin and they give Arthur and his knights the sad news.

Everyone is devasted. Most of all Arthur. He'll have go through watching Merlin suffer his father figure's death and recieve his resentment and hate for it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Arthur knows he deserves this, but not Merlin. It's just too cruel to have his friend grieve Gaius in a loop and never recover for it.

So Arthur resolves to save Merlin the pain.

And that's the Merlin he has missed. The one that still cares for him, the one that still view him as a friend.

So Arthur keeps doing this everyday. Sometimes he makes up a new story to justify Gaius' absent. The knights play along, not wanting Merlin to suffer. It's painful, but also bittersweet. At least like this, Merlin can be happy in his ignorance. They can lift the burdens of his shoulders even if it means playing a theater play every single day.

That's all I got now. What do you think?