disney's next first gay character

Ever since I was a little girl I always wanted to get hit by a car in a way that would make me a lot of money

map panther do you see my vision

cant forgive one of my coworkers because our advisor came into the office and was giving us a very sad speech that he had to make us work more hours and he was very upset about this fact and we all had to be very somber listening to him when to my right this guys computer flashes into sleep mode which happens to reveal this image that i then had to look at and not lose my shit over even a little bit

i actually think it's rly cool for people getting an abortion to joke about the abortion, and it's not tasteless or bad. btw. they are allowed to joke about it. and it's funny.

ok this post is about this tweet i saw and found fucking hilarious:

my favourite thing about One Year Later is between all the long cons and psychological warfare and unionizing, lou vic and jacob just all sincerely learned and performed a really cool magic trick

Monster fucker this, monster fucker that. What if I want a monster RELATIONSHIP huh?! Monster HAND HOLDING, monster INTIMATE CONVERSATIONS, monster COMFORTABLE SILENCE??

Some floors are made of lava. Other floors...

Alright, me and three other guys have a very important photo to take

was so well-behaved the dentist let me put my fingers in his mouth too

We need to embrace the fact that the tumblr userbase is aging. What’s everybody’s favorite kitchen appliance?

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

Scientists shouldn't have to pretend they're bringing back the dire wolf. Geneticists should be able to say "I want to make wolves larger for no reason", and we should have the resources to say "that sounds cool as hell. Here's a billion dollars"

Bead Embroidered Art Hoops

Zime Ksa on Etsy

Receiving a Werther’s Derivative from my poser grandma

Love some miserable Elon in the morning

it’s even more miserable than I thought

I had to go to urgent care after my knife slipped on my finger. Anyway the guy gluing my finger back together told me he once accidentally glued himself to the patient.

I told him that sounds like a new fanfic genre and he heartedly agreed. He then proceeded to accidentally glue the rubber tourniquet to my finger