straight people are so fascinating even when they aren't actively trying to be homophobic. I had a class a few years ago where one assignment was to summarize some eighth century arabic poetry about going out for drinks with the lads before indulging in some gay sex and like half the class came in and said "I'm sorry idk what was happening in this one, they mention having sex with a servant but they also say the servant's a man? where'd the woman come from? I'm so confused." and a few days ago in a shakespeare class I made a comment about how cleopatra and octavius caesar are kind of parallel characters in possessively bartering for mark antony's attention and one of my classmates responded as though I'd been talking about octavia and not caesar, despite the fact that I said "caesar" and "him" multiple times while describing the actions he specifically took. fully incapable of comprehending of anything that's even a little bit gay.

what if you wore a shirt that featured a picture of you trying to claw your way out of the shirt with a horrid desperate expression and the text "THAT'S NOT ME THAT'S NOT ME I'M TRAPPED IN THE SHIRT"

"if tumblr dies you can find me on bluesky" "if tumblr dies you can find me on Instagram" if tumblr dies you cannot find me. It's over. I'm free.

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

there was a well-meaning international student (learning english) in my workspace who came up to me and asked "how is your handsome white boy?" and it took me a few seconds to realize she was not in fact asking about my twink spouse but my white dog

I call this the create a new problem technique

they should invent a grief that doesn’t define you in new and strange ways for the rest of your life

My favourite thing in the world is seeing folks act like real human beings around big celebrity personalities

due to inflation you must answer my riddles five

due to budget cuts i will grant you two wishes

due to recent layoffs there is only one of me and I lie 50% of the time

I’m watching Splash (1984) which is a romcom about a guy who falls in love with a mermaid, and when she chooses a human name she chooses Madison and guy says “that’s not a real name, but alright” which seems to imply that Madison was not a name until at least the 80’s and all girls named Madison are actually named after the mermaid. thought you should know

I think...you might be right

what the fuck

where is all the art that perfectly appeals specifically to my exact tastes and desires and nobody elses

In Prince's funky name, amen.

Millennial here. All the above and:

Please send me the training or tutorial in a written format with maybe some screenshots if necessary. I don't want a video tutorial. I don't want to waste time trying to scroll to the exact moment in the instructions that I need and then have to pause and replay it because I missed the .01 seconds of actually relevant information.

Please. Text. Maybe some images for clarification. I can read. I promise.

Skimmable, SEARCHABLE instructions. If they're long, there should be a hyperlinked table of contents.

Elder Millennial here cosigning HARD

If you really need to show a movement, embed a gif or 15-scond-or-less video in the text, like Jod intended.

An early Halloween cartoon for Guardian Books

What I legit thought the punchline was gonna be.

but what if

fucking spot the difference game

Holy shit, oh my god! 50 of them??

Me when I'm a sexy gay wizard that suddenly realizes they are being followed by 50 rats

OMG LMAO I WOULD NEVER RUN FROM YOU, 50 RATS, I JUST DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE BEHIND ME

You know what you are so right... We have a bond, these 50 rats and I....

OH SHIT OH NO

WAIT

I CAN'T FEED THIS MANY RATS

Oh wait I'm a fuckin wizard lol

Yay :) Enough treats for everyone :)

Happy rat day to my most popular post ever

Yeah, a 100% straight guy wore a Brony shirt to school. I just became 20% cooler.