THE TEETHKEEPER

My guy where are your meds

A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.

OP I want you to know I think of this post every single time I have to wash a spoon.

As I grow older I feel my capacity to understand that Miss Piggy is not a real person reached a peak in my adolescence and is now on a steady decline. I watched a Wendy Williams interview and there's this part that's like "can we get a ring cam!" and Miss Piggy shows her bling and I'm just like fuck she's so iconic. Miss Piggy who are you wearing? Miss Piggy have you ever considered running for office??

Like literally every time I see Miss Piggy there's a period where I need to readjust to the fact that it's not a person, and I feel that period is getting longer and longer with every instance

now all my Youtube recommendations are filled with Miss Piggy interviews. I’m not complaining. Miss Piggy what’s your secret to ageing so graciously

It's not just the audience; professional journalists, hosts, and actors report it is legitimately difficult to not see the Muppet as a person, and it is, in fact, incredibly easy to interview or act with them once the performer gets properly set up.

hey! take it easy soon, if you can. 

He lives on my desk now at my Serious Adult Job and reminds me not to stress too much.

holy shit

he's reeeally pushing his luck

Mx why are they so shaped.

Chuletas con puré

im genuinely going to have to probably make a proper like gofundme or something for moving expenses because no way can i make enough in less than 4 months to cover costs of moving as well as a down payment on a new place all while already beating back debt that's breathing down my neck ugh

in the meantime while I figure out everything we are gonna have to do to get out of here to somewhere better, we still have bills to handle and debts (like my taxes that i still owe plus what i just filed) to cover plus anything we get can be saved towards the move. Ill eventually make a proper post but yeah

my venmo is @ LKarnstein

Vetted! #714 on Butterfly Effect Project vetted list

Only €147 raised of €50K goal despite fundraising since August!!!

Abeer and Areej are 2 sisters with 5 children between them. They are fundraising to buy food for the children! Please help them!

You can enter my necklace raffle (2.0) if you donate to this fundraiser!

The helicopter shot at us. My three children and I barely escaped. We saw many injured people in front of us.

We were very scared Please, if you see the post, donate and share for my children The situation is dangerous Donate.

Adam, how are you, little one? Are you okay? Oh, what is the fault of children that they are exposed to death? Share, my friends, please.

what is this from

the titanic

I FUCKING FORGOT I QUEUED THIS

For all who celebrate man’s hubris!

last night my partner held a somber little passover seder to show me what it’s about and when they got to the part where they were supposed to open the door for elijah they paused, frowned, and said “oh. huh. there is a clown.” and I looked out. and sure enough. there was a clown.

Or you use a plastic/silicon spatula?? Or a silicon whisk?? go to literally any dollar store they have shitty plastic/silicon kitchen utensils you can scramble eggs with without scratching up your pans

Now that’s what I call

@rpepperpotshipssciencebros please forgive me for this one

When life gives you bears… trick them into doing market research?

@mercuryjellyfish

What I really like about this is that the containers all have prominent labels with a camera pointing directly at them, but it’s still called a double-blind trial because the researcher isn’t present and the bear can’t read

You can fight AI in indie publishing by leaving reviews.

Seriously.

Ai-generated garbage is flooding the self-publishing market. It works as a numbers game- put out ENOUGH fake crap and eventually someone’s aunt will buy them the ebook as an unwanted gift, and you’ll have made two dollars. This tactic works at SCALE, which means real independent titles are now a needle amongst a haystack of slop.

If you have read a book this year that has less than 5 reviews, your rating is an algorithmic spotlight on that needle.

A one sentence review helps. Really. A star rating helps if you really can’t think of anything to say, but if you can muster up even “I laughed at the part about the tabby cat” you are doing indie authors a favor like you cannot believe.

(Also if you left a review on one of my books this year I am kissing you so softly on your forehead and I adore you)

as a former indie author i cannot express how much even one single sentence review can mean to sales.

so if you care about supporting authors take a sec to leave one!

This is pretty much the new crap with the "dire wolves"

(untill proven otherwise I guess?)

man this year is gonna be the year i either die or become someone else i dont know which one maybe both

Everytime i think of the future i nearly throw up

hate to say it but the cow is right

Oh plush cow we're really in it now

I don't know why, but I find it even more comforting to look at it this way:

Hi, my two wonderful amazing girlfriends Ivy and Jade are in a bad spot financially right now. No place is hiring and they're both between work atm. If you could help em out with a couple bucks, it would mean a lot to me!!

Already 29% to the goal!!! Thank u all so much for getting it this far!

do you love the color of the sky?