goomba

we need more divorcebaiting. how strongly can canon imply (without technically outright stating) that these two characters are bitterly, acrimoniously divorced? essential we explore this

i'll acknowledge it

Real

Once knew a guy from LARP who told a story about when he had first gotten his hands on chainmail and was getting used to wearing it and maintaining mobility and balance with the weight of it (it was heavy stuff). So he started wearing it under his clothes when he was out running errands and stuff to practice for when he had to wear it in mock combat.

Then one night he was coming home late and got mugged by a dude with a knife.

Apparently the look on the dude's face was amazing when he went in to gut the guy for his wallet and found out he was wearing medieval armor under his hoodie.

So, you know. Pretty good argument for wearing it under streetclothes!

so maybe my type isn't totally unrealistic

Fun story, i talked to two people who worked at a convenience store in the Kingdom of An Tir (SCA medieval society, An Tir's territory is WA, BC, northern ID, and OR, and in the past included AB and SK).

This convenience store was notorious for getting robbed in the evenings one or two times a month, so nobody wanted to work the night shift. The one fellow, he desperately needed a job, but he was also learning how to be a heavy fighter (sword & shield) in the SCA, so he had just finished a chainmail shirt, and asked if he could wear it under his uniform shirt, so long as it didn't show. The manager was just happy that he had someone willing to work nights, and said yeah, sure, so long as it doesn't show.

Guy starts working the night shifts, things are fine, he's getting used to everything, then late one night, a guy in a hoodie comes in, and asks for a pack of cigarettes. Our guy turns to get the pack, and feels a thump on his back. Turning around, scowling, he demands, "Did you just hit me??"

Guy in the hoodie widens his eyes, goes ash-gray, and faints. Clerk can't budge from behind the counter in case this is an attempt to distract and rob. But the guy remains out coold. Confused, our clerk calls the emergency services. EMTs come along and start checking out the patient, who is still out cold on the floor. While they're doing that, one of them comes up to the counter and asks what happened, exactly.

Our man tells the EMT, "Well, he just came in, looked around, came up to the counter and asked for a specific pack of cigarettes, so I turned to get them--"

And he demonstrates by turning his back to the EMT, who suddenly starts shouting, "--Sir! Sir! Are you okay? Don't move!"

Our man feels the EMT groping his upper back, and then the EMT asks,

"What the hell are you WEARING?"

"A chainmail shirt. I have to get used to the weight of it, so I wear it a lot. Why? Is something wrong?"

"You have a KNIFE in your back!"

"Uhh...no, I don't? I mean, I don't feel hurt? He only, like, punched me or something. There's no knife back there--I mean, I'd KNOW if there was a knife back there, right?"

EMT grabs the knife and pushes on his shoulder, yanking it out. "THIS knife! I'm going to need to examine your back!"

So they manage to get him out of his uniform shirt and out of the hauberk and out of the linen shirt under it (because chainmail bites suck, plus it's not nearly as fun as a Brazilian waxjob, because my SCA friend was hairy)...and it turns out he only had a very small scratch from the tip of the knife...which had gotten lodged in the riveted links.

...That was why the guy fainted. He'd stabbed the store clerk, who had turned around angrily, knife still lodged in his back.

Manager was so happy to have hired the guy, as that was the first time in like eight or nine months that the store hadn't been successfully robbed.

Love when DS9 episodes are like this:

Cant have fucking shit in Detroit

Cant have shit

Okay so door saga

You are completely right because I have now investigated the knob and can confirm the screw holding the knob to bar was loose. I have tightened the screw and it SEEMS fixed but I’m very Fool Me Once on this since my neighbor also thought they’d fixed it.

There is a Home Depot trip in my future. Or maybe an online purchase if Patches would get off my laptop

Merry Christmas I hope I know how to install a doorknob

Complication. Doorknob is here and I tried to install it, but because my door is older than God, the latch-majig (technical term) is offset like an inch higher than the knob. Modern doorknob has the latch LEVEL with the knob.

To swap in the new knob I'd need to cut a new knob-hole an inch higher in the door which

I think what I really want is just the knob like above tags said. Like the knob and the rectangular bar, which I can substitute in for my stripped-bare knob and rectangle bar. I WOULD do this with the new knob, but it's got two welded-on spokes poking out from the knob.

I can maybe drill two holes for the spokes in my door...?

(Squinting at shitty amazon listings trying to see if any knobs don't have the two spokes)

(I think the two spokes might be standard.)

Developing new respect for Jesus (carpenter).

In the meantime, because I'd already unscrewed a lot of things I DID take the genius action of flipping my current doorknob around.

This way the side that causes problems is on the INSIDE.

Doorknob fall of while INSIDE house significantly better than doorknob fall off while OUTSIDE.

I'm retightening all the screws.

Patches has offered no solutions.

So it does!

Never heard the term "spindle doorknob" before so I never would have found this on my own.

They're also all labeled "vintage" which extra feels right since my door predates the Cambrian Explosion.

Crowdsourcing my door fix on Tumblr dot com! Doorknob 2.0 is ordered.

At least 4,000 but we still got time

New doorknob should get here tomorrow, but in the meantime things in the notes of this post:

DOORKNOB

ALSO MY PAPER TOWELS

(Ran out of paper towels)

Old knob coming off.

Wretched thing. Accursed knob of woe.

Get undid

New knob reign by forceful coup. Went to great pains to PRECISELY wait Patches is escaping

Patches retrieved

Anyway GREAT care was taken to ensure both knobs are ALIGNED, EVEN, SCREWED ON, with the wait hang on

Patches retrieved again.

Anyway

DOORKNOB SCREWED ON

KNOB

Still gonna keep the emergency screwdriver in the hall for probably the next month.

In conclusion look at my cat

certified door post

This post has 10 sets of parentheses.

having a nickel allergy is actually so insidious because what you MEAN I need to pay attention to the nickel content in my food. what do you MEAN that it doesn’t even present like typical food allergy symptoms (no tingly mouth, no throat closing, no stomach pain etc) and it took until my mid-late 20s to realize that dietary nickel is probably why I’d sometimes get hives randomly on my arms with no apparent cause and have also now deal with chronic eczema. what do you MEAN that all the foods that I eat specifically because they are high in nutritional value consistently also contain nickel.

Here I was thinking my nickel allergy was pretty mild!! so many mysteries in my life were all probably caused by nickel. It was always nickel.

I can’t lie, that does help a little bit

[Image: toastybugguy comments: god that is truly insidious. if it helps at all, you're probably the most qualified individual to make "if I had a nickel for every time I got hives" jokes and other such variants.]

I'm sorry... nickel eczema is a thing? Well fuck, let me just add that to my ever growing list of things I need to do something about and are continuously causing me health problems (I am going to go riot by making tea which also contains nickel in some quantity apparently)

I'm amused at the ones which finally took him out

if your disability makes it difficult for you to leave bed to brush your teeth, Colgate makes a product called Wisps that are single use, no-rinse toothbrushes you can use while in bed. They have a bead on the brush that dissolves and acts as toothpaste and can be swallowed. The other end has a toothpick.

[Image Description: Toothbrush that has a blue gel bead at the centre of the brush part. End ID.] Reblogging in case this is helpful for anyone. Also sharing a post I made a while ago about dental hygiene when you're chronically fatigued. (including some awesome tips from @energysavingselfcare) I wrote that post when I used to brush teeth sitting down; I've now been brushing my teeth in bed for several years. I can only brush my teeth once a day (using an electric toothbrush) and use a higher fluoride toothpaste, prescribed by my dentist.

from How To Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis (quoting Imani Barbarin)

Wisps are great! The bristles are quite soft and have a different texture than regular toothbrushes, so they may also be helpful for you if you have sensory issues surrounding toothbrushes.

"Sonic shower or water shower" discourse is so limited. This is the replicator-equipped Enterprise! Set that to "Caffeine Mist." Melted butter, gently cooled. Chocolate fountain and I'm the strawberry.

Love that Star Trek is like “there are 3 sides to you: the emotional, the logical, and a fuckin hater lol”

*Leonard McCoy walking into a debriefing*

Jim: Thanks for joining us Bones

Bones: Alright before we start I just want to let everyone in here know I haven’t slept in 96 hours, and these hands ARE rated E for everyone so no one start shit with me, thanks.

Spock: Doctor is such language really necessary

Bones: I’m gonna stab you in your sleep

Scotty slowly handing a $20 to Jim: We didn’t even start the meeting yet

Jim taking the $20: Still counts :)

Star Trek but it’s *The Office* part 2

Jim: Working onboard a Starship is learning to cooperate with one another. Learning how to come together and work as a team. You’re with your fellow crew members for five years, you have to learn to respect them. After the first year you learn to love and care for one another. And in the end…..you become a family.

*Footsteps and voices are heard from a distance off camera*

Bones: You son of a bitch! Can’t you at least show some sympathy for once!

Spock: Doctor you are acting highly illogical on the matter.

Bones: Highly illogical! I’ll show you highly illogical you and your-

*Voices and footsteps fade off*

Jim: …well I never said it was a happy family.

aos is fascinating to me just because of how stupidly self-destructive aos kirk can be. that man is a ticking time bomb at all hours of the day. aos spock, bless him, is, um. not much better. two little lemmings leaping over one another to be the one risking their life this week, and leaving poor mccoy with an eternal tension-headache from trying to keep those two idiots from bleeding out.

Kirk: *Kicks the door open, looking panicked*

McCoy: What did you do?!

Kirk: NOBODY DIED!

McCoy: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

A personal favorite dynamic of mine is ‘I would die for you’ and ‘Die? Who said you could die!? No! I will drag you back from the afterlife my self!’. Like yes the ‘I’d die for you’ energy is great, but when the other person responds with basically a ‘like hell you will!’ It’s probably one of my favorite things.

Bones and Kirk be like