the end of year 3

during one of the ward rounds kat hosp temerloh. asma' curi2 amek gambar.
hehe, suke hati je. sume sempat je nak posing plak tu :P



yay. just finished my last clinical exams for 3rd year. glad that's over and done with. pelik jugak why this exams is the most draining. i'm way tired right now. i have a long to-do-list. dari semalam asyek pikir about this list and berangan dah nak buat.

1st on the list, watch cite 1 litre of tears. the neurologist is handsome :P
then clean my messy2 room.

tadi exam long case dapat febrile fit. alhamdulillah i read this topic well and i had to present to Dr Wahab. he didn't ask much. kejap je. i think that means i did ok.

for the short case i got Dr Zawawi (an external examiner) and he asked to do an abdominal examination of a young malay girl. i did everything like usual. i was rather confused whether she had ascites or not but i tak berani nak commit myself to it so i said she didn't have any. Dr check balik cakap ada. then he asked what else i wanted to examine. i said everything i could think of and he provoked, don't u want to examine the back for any nephrectomy scar? oh, yeah, i forgot that one sebab slalu lupe everytime buat abdominal exam pun. what about this? he pointed to the area above the lips. hirsutism? yes. i gave my provisional diagnosis as AGN becoz the oedema didn't seem like that of nephrotic but maybe because she was on meds already. i hope he gave me a pass.

i also hope i answered moderately well in my PMP and MCQ's. bile check balik macam banyak je salah. owh, yesterday could be recorded down in IIUM's history as the day they postponed the exam because of a blackout. tension gile kene postpone PMP. nak study dah tak larat sebab satu UIA tak de karen. gelap gelita everywhere. not to mention HOT! memang betul2 pukul 1 pm ada balik elecktrik. then we sat for the postponed exam and also the MCQ's. alhamdulillah ada balik elektrik. Dr Naznin said it could have been postponed to thursday after the clinical exams. habes spoil all my plans if it happned that way. but, Allah Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang. dapat jgk sit for the exam. lega sket perasaan.

the good thing is, whatever the result of this exams, i'll still enter 4th year. alhamdulillah!

much decisions to be made in 4th year. forensic posting nak buat kat mane? elective posting nak buat kat mane (kalau dpt buat) ?


i may be a bookworm, but definitely not for the next 12 days.
and i'm also a much good-looking bookworm :P

a conflict of interests

Ayyasy Assiddiq

By the time i get to see him he'll look different already

happy times.

baru habis 2 seminar presentations on the parasites infestations in children with dr zain, from 8.30 am to 11.15 am. my head is spinning right now from overdose of parasitology info. hmm, revise balik la about all those gruesome worms causing diseases that we learnt during 2nd year with prof pakeer and prof hassan. Dr Zain sangat terer and pandai which means that seminars with him which are supposed to last for 1 hour can take up to about 2 and a half hours. sume dah penat sgt by the end of the session. we have another 2 sessions with at 2pm which i predict will last until 5 pm.

this is supposed to be our revision week but we have to have our seminars with dr zain because he's a visiting lecturer and this is the only time he's available. one look at him and u wouldn't guess he's a consultant. what with his long curly hair, thick moustache and rock-like voice. but, he's a genius and we benefit a lot from sessions with him. walaupun penat sangat lepas tu.

all this has nothing to do with the topic above.

actually, my roommate and i are in a most distressing period right now. hmm, runsing kepala everytime i think about it and the thing is i can't stop myself from thinking about it.

what if u wanted something really badly and just when u thot it was within ur reach, someone comes and crushes all ur hopes? imagine the devastation and frustration one feels.

the problem starts with the insufficient hostel rooms for the male students who will be registering when the new academic calender starts this july. the admin miscalculated the numbers and only noticed this recently. so they have to provide hostels off campus. the question is, who should stay ouctside. they decided that it should be the 1st years. so, whilst they are in the process of renovating the offcampus hostels, the brothers must have a place to stay. they decided that the closest one would be block D new which is currently being occupied by the kulliyyah of science sisters. they were given a very last minute and improper notification letter to move to the empty rooms which used to be occupied by the final years.

as much as i understand the distress, frustration and anger they are facing right now, from my experience directly being involved when the brothers ahd to move blocks twice last time, i know that nothing could be done to change the decision however great the outcry or student reaction is. now, when the impact of this directive suddenly hits me in the face, i am taken aback.

i just got to know last sunday that these science students would be my roommates and neighbours for the next 2 years sebab my level banyak 5th years dulu. as much as i wish to be unbiased and non-judgemental, their record and history worries me greatly. if they are like the nice science students that i know of like nabihah, ili, salwa, kak haya or kak phisah etc, then i don't have to worry. i hope they are. i really, really hope they are. but what if they're not and they smoke or have attitude problems, what then? risaunye.

i come back to my first question. about wanting something very much. my roommate and i were excited on moving into the room just beside ours because it was much bigger and we have so much stuff, ecpecially after scavenging form the seniors unwanted but still-useful items. we didn't know yet that the sciences sisters would be moving in. we'd even moved some of our stuff into it and rearranged them in our chosen cubicles. (we asked the previous owners not to lock the door that how we got access to to the room.) azza was more excited than me. her eyes practically sparkled at the thought of moving into the new room. she's moved most of her stuff already.

imagine our frustration when we got to know that science students would be moving into that very room. the hostel office peeps said that we could change rooms with those students if we mutually agreed to it. so we managed to contact the 2 girls somehow. to cut a long and winding story short, these girls refused to trade cubicles with us and now we're in a dilemma of having to face these two girls who have crushed our hopes of moving into that room for the next 2 years.

on one hand, i'm the angry, frustrated senior who can't bear to look at their faces, while on the other hand, i'm supposed to be the nice, empathic, welcoming and caring da'ie. aaargh, this internal conflict is gnawing away deep inside of me.

to make matters worse, the SRC kuantan president asked me to follow up on the memorandum by the science sisters objecting to this directive. if it weren't for the whole of KOS students, and for my SRC responsibility malas je nak buat. but at the end of the day, i realize that public interest prevails over personal interest, i have to do it one way or another.

okay, i feel better now and lighter with all this load off my chest.

please pray for me that i can answer my exam questions well this monday and tuesday. ur prayers means a lot to me and help greatly with the outcome. pray that i become a safe doctor insyaAllah.

just a note of reminder from my sponsors, do wash ur hands before u eat! u just never know what ur hands have come into contact with and seriously u do not want to get any worm infestations :)

silence

the humbling experience of the hard life. we have much to be thankful for.

Rasulullah SAW berkata:

"Sesiapa yang mandi pada hari Jumaat, menggosok gigi dan memakai minyak wangi, memakai pakaian yang terbaik, kemudian keluar hingga tiba di masjid, dan tidak melangkah leher-leher orang (di masjid), kemudian solat sunat sebanyak mana yang dia mahu, kemudian diam ketika imam muncul dan tidak bercakap sehinggalah selesai solatnya, maka dosanya di antara Jumaat itu dengan Jumaat sebelumnya akan diampuni.
{HR Ahmad}

i always have to sit behind the brothers during the lectures whenever we have a class in Lecture Hall 4 because the class is small and the sisters are double the 7 brothers in my posting. by the time i reach the lecture hall (about 5 mins before class), usually the sisters' rows are fully occupied jadi terpaksa sit behind the guys. kalau tak penuh pun, ade je org yg cop-cop tmpt duduk.

during the class the brothers didn't talk much amongst themselves while i was yacking away with my friend beside me commenting on every slide and whatever knowledge was taught. there wasn't even as much as a squeak from them except at the end of the class. wow, bagusnya, they were really attentive.

malu jugak rasanye, but for me it would require much will power and inner strength to not talk during class. don't get me wrong, i don't disturb my friend all the time, i just like discussing and commenting or give my point of view or examples on that topic. i either talk or sleep. as extreme as both options are, i can't really change this bad habit of mine.

alhamdulillah Allah never made it compulsory for the sisters to pray jumaat, otherwise my prayers would not be accepted. berat sangat rasanye the injuction to remain silent. hmm banyaknye dosa kerana mulut. mesti banyak pahala orang yg senyap.

material possessions

today, (or right now actually), the 2nd years are sitting for their 1st professional exam. the big exam they need to pass in order to enter the clinical years. the exam that tests whether one has remembered the 2 years of medical basics and theories. may Allah help them and may they answer well.

the fifths years dah selamat exam and sekarang ni tengah interview with jpa for work. hmm menarik. i think they'll start work as housemans in july. all the best to them!

since my block consists of many final years, so after this kosong lah sekejap and there's gonna be many juniors yg akan masuk. haha, i'm gonna bully them habis2an :) i have a few plans for next academic year to liven up my hostel. am gonna be living here for another 2 years.

while some of the seniors were packing their stuff and throwing away things that they no longer need or use, i was scavenging thru some of their rubbish and found some quite nice, usable items. when u stay in the same room for 5 years, ur possessions rather accumulate. imagine the huge amount of stuff one ends up with by the final year.

for those yg slalu pindah bilik (macam brothers), at least they tend to keep less stuff. my room is already piled up with so much stuff. setiap kali balik rumah, bawak lagi barang datang sini and tak bawak balik2 dah. hmm, i can just imagine the amount of cleaning i'll have to do when i finish my med studies here. all the books; textbooks, tarbiyah books etc plus all the notes. preclinical notes je dah penuh satu almari. i'm gonna do a jumble sale nanti bila habis and sell the stuff i tanak dah.

the fact that i'm sentimental when it comes to stuff doesn't help. i have a whole lot of junk yg sayang nak buang just becoz they mean something to me or sebab mungkin boleh guna in future. tah pape betul.

hmm, for the time being, i'm gonna keep piling my stuff. i'll cross each bridge when i get there :)

re-acquaintance

comel sgt arnab tu.

(gambar ini adlh hiasan semata-mata)

I was taking a nap while waiting for isya’ when my phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number. Suspens gak. Tetibe suara lelaki, “kenal tak sape? ingat tak... Awla laka fa awla?”.

Yeah rite, like u’r the only person whose said that to me before.

Surprise, surprise. Rupa2nya it was ustaz kamil (do u guys remember him??). He used to teach at SMI Hidayah when I was form 2. I think he taught me feqah. He’s now working at IKIP (Institut Kemahiran Ikhtisas Pahang) as the director of syariah studies or something. I never knew. Pernah je pergi IKIP but didn’t know ustaz was there.

Hmm, dari mane ustaz dapat my number?

Apparently, Nadirah’s sister Syahidah (nadirah was my classmate at school), just enrolled today at IKIP for her diploma. So, I guess she recognized ustaz kamil and approached him. She mentioned that syahadah and I were in uia Kuantan so she gave him my number. Haha, dekat sangat, tak tau plak ustaz kat Kuantan gak (lame2 ingat je yg kak ngah pernah gi ziarah ustaz kat pahang masa trip prs dulu in 1998). It’s been what, like 9 years since we last saw ustaz. Lepas ni boleh la buat pape joint venture ngan IKIP ke since ada contact kat sane. Cool.

Ustaz remembered my name but didn’t remember how I looked (ces!). He said he is much chubbier now. Ustaz dulu kurus je. I remember recognizing his minyak wangi when he walked by but I cannot recall it now. (yep, I’m hyperosmic). I asked about his wife and children? He has not got any children yet. I asked him whether he remembered the other students. He vaguely remembered kak ngah so I updated him on the necessary details. I told him of safura and nizam’s coming wedding and pepandai invited him to the kenduri on nizam’s side. Hehe, suke hati je. It felt strange getting a call from ustaz sebab lama tak jumpa. I guess he was excited to know that his former model student (hehe perasan) ada kat Kuantan gak.

Hmm, moral of the story (for me):

• you never know who u r supposed to meet in this lifetime and when u’ll meet them


• and if u have went separate ways, you may just meet them again in the most unusual of places or circumstances


• sometimes i wonder why i get to know some people whom i end up not liking and then am stuck facing them everyday (I guess Allah wants to test me on how I deal with these conditions. On the other hand, macam la I baik sgt la kan nak tak suka orang. Shame on me!)


• and then there are the people i wish i got to know or got acquainted with them but have never gotten the chance to (not yet kot)


• I guess some acquaintances must be initiated somehow coz u won’t know if that someone u want to get to know will change ur life forever unless u try eh =)

My friend once gave me this SMS which sums up all of this quite nicely,

“In life, Allah doesn’t give u the people u want.
Instead he gives u the people u need; to teach u, to hurt u and to make u exactly the way u should be.”

11.59 pm, 14th May 2007

my nephew's name is 'Ayyash As-Siddiq.

selingan

posted on the fridge at my naqibah's house:

when i married Mr Right, i didn't know his first name was Always.

hehe, i laugh everytime i read it.

the moderator

last saturday, faizal requested for one sister to become a panelist for a forum for POLISAS students which was to be held on the very next day. sufian and him would be the other 2 panelists.

we tried asking everyone who was willing to do the job but everyone was busy or had other business. asma' and i wanted to study (sbb asyek berfoya-foya selama ni) so we asked aishah and sibah. tangkap muat je sape yg boleh buat. so that saturday afternoon we had to decide on who had to go. last2, we decided that everyone had to go coz tak aci la kalau ade orang study and ade yg tak kan. hehe, dengki betul :P

the task was to share with Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya from POLISAS on what it means to be a pemimpin and a pembimbing. waktu tu jugaklah brainstorm on how we were to go about the task. we didn't really know much about the prog, let alone the task at hand. last2 terus reka modul sendiri.

faizal pulak tetiba asked whether i could be the moderator for the program. personally i tak reti sgt jadi moderator ni. each time i have to be it, macam tak best je. but then i thot kalu jadi moderator tak yah lah jadi panelist so tak payah nak cakap byk sgt. with this point in mind, i accepted the job.

we only smoothened out the details on the way to the program, so we had about 45 minutes to fine tune and synchronise our plans. alhamdulillah, everything SEEMED smooth. they didn't exactly go as i had planned but it turned out okay. i didn't trip over or embarrass myself or anything like that so, boleh lah kot. at least, the polisas students seemed to enjoy the session.

on the way back, we invited ourselves to kak ju's house. baby huda sakinah is soo cute.

hmm, mentang2 la i have a rather thick skin, my friends always give me the task of asking people for invitations to their houses. but i only do it with verry close people. bukan sape2 je tau.

the talkshow: (from left) faizal, sufian, me, aishah

sume yg paksa rela pergi :)

at pantai cherating

with salihah khidir

with our beloved kak safiah whose 4 months pregnant

p.s sibah, if ur reading, kem salam kat faruq :P

new nephewwww

yay, alhamdulillah kak ngah safely gave birth to a beautiful baby boy last sunday afternoon. kakyung dah pegi tengok. i dunno when i can go see him. she says he's comel gila, putih and has kakngah's lips. mebe after exams kot baru boleh. jealousnya x2 dgn kakyung.

family reunion at kak yung's house

what could be more exciting after a memorable mukhayyam than a family reunion?

it's been ages since the whole family got together. there was always someone who couldn't make it. i'm very thankful that i was around this time kalau tak i can just imagine nibah calling me from ayah's phone trying to make me jealous.

aisyah kept pretending the airconditioning remote control was a handphone and babbled and laughed sorang2. klaka sgt tengok.

nawaz was sick. he didn't have much of an appetite and kept crying. he wanted to be carried all the time. he kept having on and off low grade fever. i hope he's all better by now.

hammad's got his first zit. dah besar panjang dah dia.

it was wonderful to be able to spend time with all of my sisters. we must do this more often.

can't wait for kak ngah's baby to come out.

ayah with his adorable granddaughter and grandson.

both of them absolutely clinged to ayah.

three generations of the bani azraai girls

the bani azraai guys