i've been having a chronic cough for over a month already.
but thats not the reason for me having not been able to update.
loads of things have happened.
most important of all is that i'm in my 14th week of gestation. have been having hyperemesis for quite a while but nit to the extent of it distrupting my work. i am extra tired most of the time.
finished paeds 2 weeks ago.
currently am in o&g.
only one comment. htar klang sucks!
apart from that, i'm terribly homesick!
kay, have a nice day everyone :)
Friday, November 27, 2009
Monday, September 07, 2009
life outside of the hospital
i guess it helps a lot in maintaining my sanity.
when i go home to my husband and in-laws, i forget about the patients, the scoldings by m.o's and specialists, the great expectations, the plentiful rounds and my many inadequacies.
life at home offers that change of environment and relief.
i do like going to work. its just some times when i screw up and get depressed that i feel like running away and quitting. jealous jugak tengok my friends enjoying their job.
sometimes i just feel numb and blur.
a colleague of mine is taking an online course in finance from harvard while doing EOD calls.. he says it keeps him going through the tough times.
moral of the story: one needs another life apart from the medical world to remain balanced.
i cant wait for raya holidays. i get 3 days plus another 4 days after that. something to look forward to on bleak days hehe.
when i go home to my husband and in-laws, i forget about the patients, the scoldings by m.o's and specialists, the great expectations, the plentiful rounds and my many inadequacies.
life at home offers that change of environment and relief.
i do like going to work. its just some times when i screw up and get depressed that i feel like running away and quitting. jealous jugak tengok my friends enjoying their job.
sometimes i just feel numb and blur.
a colleague of mine is taking an online course in finance from harvard while doing EOD calls.. he says it keeps him going through the tough times.
moral of the story: one needs another life apart from the medical world to remain balanced.
i cant wait for raya holidays. i get 3 days plus another 4 days after that. something to look forward to on bleak days hehe.
Saturday, September 05, 2009
no complaints
i think i've been whining and complaining too much without realising why i have to work so hard.
when i go to work and do my job well, i become the medium for a sick baby or child to become better with Allah's will. and that satisfaction is priceless.
i cant imagine myself other than a doctor so i have to be a great one.
Ya Allah, please give me the strength and ability to do my job well and remain focused on my goals in life. Amin.
when i go to work and do my job well, i become the medium for a sick baby or child to become better with Allah's will. and that satisfaction is priceless.
i cant imagine myself other than a doctor so i have to be a great one.
Ya Allah, please give me the strength and ability to do my job well and remain focused on my goals in life. Amin.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
h.o at 6 weeks of life.
it's been 6 weeks of work already including 2 tagging weeks. i've had 10 calls already for this month alone plus one more tomorrow on merdeka day.
i havent received my salary yet and am relying on hubby for my expenses.
i havent been following the news much.
i've become immune to the crying and screams of babies and kids and endeavor to complete my work as fast as i can. balut je or bedung je budak tu and cucuk them to get the required blood or to insert a branula. sounds kejam, i know.
i'm still quite slow and not as efficient as is expected of me.
i have learnt that there are some people who smile in front of u and later stab u in the back. so we stick with ppl we trust and be wary of those who are potential backstabbers. each level sticks with their own kind; housemen with housemen, m.o's with m.o's and specialists with specialists.
because of the EOD (every other day) oncalls, i am constantly tired and it affects my tarawikh and amalan sunat. balik to my inlaws pun jadi hi-hi bye bye je. salam bile sampai waktu malam and then salam again before i go to work.
if i get some sleep during my calls and patients come in the middle of the night, and i bangun mamai2, lambat sket clerk the cases.
i've had to break my fast 3 times at the hospital until now. rase macam tak meriah je. and solat sorang2 bile sempat. and asyek lupe nak bawa quran so tak dpt bace.
i so have to improve meself and not let this ramadhan slip away just like that.
last week, the hot issue was oncalls during raya so all of us muslim h.o's in the dept have to be oncall either on raya eve or 2nd day of raya. i chose the latter.
i am currently back home in skudai with all me sisters. glad for the weekend off and dreading to go back to klang and going to work tomorrow.
i am extremely glad that i am married. having hubby around helps a lot. i love him terribly. sian dia for getting a dr wife. lots of downsides rather than benefits.
k, thats all for now.
i havent received my salary yet and am relying on hubby for my expenses.
i havent been following the news much.
i've become immune to the crying and screams of babies and kids and endeavor to complete my work as fast as i can. balut je or bedung je budak tu and cucuk them to get the required blood or to insert a branula. sounds kejam, i know.
i'm still quite slow and not as efficient as is expected of me.
i have learnt that there are some people who smile in front of u and later stab u in the back. so we stick with ppl we trust and be wary of those who are potential backstabbers. each level sticks with their own kind; housemen with housemen, m.o's with m.o's and specialists with specialists.
because of the EOD (every other day) oncalls, i am constantly tired and it affects my tarawikh and amalan sunat. balik to my inlaws pun jadi hi-hi bye bye je. salam bile sampai waktu malam and then salam again before i go to work.
if i get some sleep during my calls and patients come in the middle of the night, and i bangun mamai2, lambat sket clerk the cases.
i've had to break my fast 3 times at the hospital until now. rase macam tak meriah je. and solat sorang2 bile sempat. and asyek lupe nak bawa quran so tak dpt bace.
i so have to improve meself and not let this ramadhan slip away just like that.
last week, the hot issue was oncalls during raya so all of us muslim h.o's in the dept have to be oncall either on raya eve or 2nd day of raya. i chose the latter.
i am currently back home in skudai with all me sisters. glad for the weekend off and dreading to go back to klang and going to work tomorrow.
i am extremely glad that i am married. having hubby around helps a lot. i love him terribly. sian dia for getting a dr wife. lots of downsides rather than benefits.
k, thats all for now.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
tagging
wow...
a lot has happened.
i've been working for 10 days now.
ppl call me dr awla now.
and my signature laku jugak la but not too much.
i have to handle cases and take blood on my own by hook or by crook.
im curently at the Special Care Neonate (SCN)warD looking after sick babies and poking them until i get sufficient blood samples to know their condition.
im still tagging which means that during this period i have to refer a lot to others and observe first how everything is done. another 4 days to go.
however since the work load is terrible, my friend and i have to do work like other doctors only with less responsibility. we start our calls after this.
k, that's all for now.
will update more after i finish tagging.
a lot has happened.
i've been working for 10 days now.
ppl call me dr awla now.
and my signature laku jugak la but not too much.
i have to handle cases and take blood on my own by hook or by crook.
im curently at the Special Care Neonate (SCN)warD looking after sick babies and poking them until i get sufficient blood samples to know their condition.
im still tagging which means that during this period i have to refer a lot to others and observe first how everything is done. another 4 days to go.
however since the work load is terrible, my friend and i have to do work like other doctors only with less responsibility. we start our calls after this.
k, that's all for now.
will update more after i finish tagging.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
off to btn...
tomoro im going to BTN at kuale lipis for 5 days then terus sambung kursus induksi kat midtown hotel, kuala terengganu for 11 days.
huhu away from my hubby for 17 days.
after nearly 6 weeks of leisure, it gets busy after this.
k, hopefully i'll get to update more after this.. altho it seems unlikely hehe
huhu away from my hubby for 17 days.
after nearly 6 weeks of leisure, it gets busy after this.
k, hopefully i'll get to update more after this.. altho it seems unlikely hehe
Monday, June 15, 2009
Sunday, May 31, 2009
just married.
i am married! hehe
nantilah i'll upload pics.
i'm grateful that all the presents that i received are very useful ones for my new home iA. will put up list later.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
wow! another 2 days.
a lot of people have been asking me whether i'm nervous or not and telling me that they rase berdebar2.
of course i am nervous. i'm terrified to bits. i will have to care about someone else other than myself. i will have to discuss my every decision and action with him. i'll have to live somewhere i've never even been to. if i do something wrong, i cant go running to my family. its a life-changing event.
at first, i didnt feel anything as there was much to do. now its just two days away, and there's still loads to do. alhamdulillah kakyung's coming home tonight. cant wait to see nawaz. more heads for opinions and more hands to do the work.
everyday lots of people come to the house to help out. good thing mak has 2 usrah groups. so twice a week, the makciks help package the goody bags. yesterday, some makciks came to help gubah bunga. after looking through and clearing up some boxes and also the store, mak found some unused plastics flowers. mak cik maziah and makcik ah is a whiz at menggubah flowers. she used an old, worn out basket of ours to put some assorted flowers and it looks absolutely beautiful. i dont have talent in that area at all so i leave it to those who love to do it. mak pun got into the menggubah craze and spent a lot of time on it so we have lots of plastic flowers at home.
because of the extraordinary amount of cleaning that needed to be done, mak had to outsource and panggil org datang kemas rumah. so nibah and i prepared lunch. i made kari ikan and sambal ikan bilis and tempe.
in the afternoon, we made apple crumble. hehe, sempat gak buat. the oven memang panas sebelah so we had to turn it manually. the custard was a bit lumpy but sedap nonetheless. it wasnt that hard to do.
there's still lots of desserts that kakchik and i have been dreaming of doing but asyek malas nak buat. we've already bought the ingredients. nantilah.
our house just had an extreme makeover. it is very different from before. ayah spent a fortune on it. plus the wedding expenses, its burning a hole in mak and ayah's bank books and pockets. i wish i had money to give them to help out but i've used up all of my scholarship money and depleted some of my tabung haji savings. i so have to work and make up for the expenses bit by bit.
with regards to the bilik pengantin, 2 makcik's came to give their opinion on how the things in the room should be arranged. so the existing cupboard has to go out and we have to take a smaller one from the other room in exchange. the last time we had to rearrange cupboards was exactly last year. now we had to do it again. penat sangat keluarkan everything and moving the cupboards then rearranging things back into them.
mak asked me where are my friends. why arent they around to lend a helping hand. i cant expect my kuantan friends to help out because everyone's far away and have their own lives to settle. and i cant expect my batch of schoolmates to help out because they're all working now and have their own activities to do. so i have to rely on kakchik's friends to come over and do whatever is necessary.
i pray that everything will go well nanti.
a lot of people have been asking me whether i'm nervous or not and telling me that they rase berdebar2.
of course i am nervous. i'm terrified to bits. i will have to care about someone else other than myself. i will have to discuss my every decision and action with him. i'll have to live somewhere i've never even been to. if i do something wrong, i cant go running to my family. its a life-changing event.
at first, i didnt feel anything as there was much to do. now its just two days away, and there's still loads to do. alhamdulillah kakyung's coming home tonight. cant wait to see nawaz. more heads for opinions and more hands to do the work.
everyday lots of people come to the house to help out. good thing mak has 2 usrah groups. so twice a week, the makciks help package the goody bags. yesterday, some makciks came to help gubah bunga. after looking through and clearing up some boxes and also the store, mak found some unused plastics flowers. mak cik maziah and makcik ah is a whiz at menggubah flowers. she used an old, worn out basket of ours to put some assorted flowers and it looks absolutely beautiful. i dont have talent in that area at all so i leave it to those who love to do it. mak pun got into the menggubah craze and spent a lot of time on it so we have lots of plastic flowers at home.
because of the extraordinary amount of cleaning that needed to be done, mak had to outsource and panggil org datang kemas rumah. so nibah and i prepared lunch. i made kari ikan and sambal ikan bilis and tempe.
in the afternoon, we made apple crumble. hehe, sempat gak buat. the oven memang panas sebelah so we had to turn it manually. the custard was a bit lumpy but sedap nonetheless. it wasnt that hard to do.
there's still lots of desserts that kakchik and i have been dreaming of doing but asyek malas nak buat. we've already bought the ingredients. nantilah.
our house just had an extreme makeover. it is very different from before. ayah spent a fortune on it. plus the wedding expenses, its burning a hole in mak and ayah's bank books and pockets. i wish i had money to give them to help out but i've used up all of my scholarship money and depleted some of my tabung haji savings. i so have to work and make up for the expenses bit by bit.
with regards to the bilik pengantin, 2 makcik's came to give their opinion on how the things in the room should be arranged. so the existing cupboard has to go out and we have to take a smaller one from the other room in exchange. the last time we had to rearrange cupboards was exactly last year. now we had to do it again. penat sangat keluarkan everything and moving the cupboards then rearranging things back into them.
mak asked me where are my friends. why arent they around to lend a helping hand. i cant expect my kuantan friends to help out because everyone's far away and have their own lives to settle. and i cant expect my batch of schoolmates to help out because they're all working now and have their own activities to do. so i have to rely on kakchik's friends to come over and do whatever is necessary.
i pray that everything will go well nanti.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
my days
since nibah is enjoying herself in pahang and the only ones left at home are me and kakchik, we have to follow mak everywhere.
2 days ago, the hantarans were ready. since the only sister with creative blood is still in KL, we have to outsource and rely on expert people who enjoys spending two hours trying to match the color tones of the flowers and ribbons to be used. the 2 makciks gave very specific instructions of what to add, how to arrange them and how to make them look natural rather than kaku. wow! and they worried that the whole thing was too simple. i dared imagine how it would look if they went all out in the decorations. they are safely kept at makchik fati's house away from peeping eyes. everyone was leka berbual and we went back late.
ayah came home yesterday and we went to pasar malam taman u, prayed at masjid taman u where ayah met the imam who will be the tok kadi and then we went to giant to buy some more stuff.
this morning, we followed ayah to his chiropractic treatment and then went to larkin to look for tudungs and had brunch. then ayah went home by taxi as he wanted to play golf so we mak, kakchik and me went to mydin then angsana. at kamdar, kakchik and i played about with the stuff there while mak looked for her table cloth which she didnt find.
i think the hat matches my tudung
kakchik looking suave in the cowboy hat (see mak in the background busy looking for table cloths)
mak's using sticky notes now to keep track of to-do things
the hantarans are ready yay! very2 cantek they are.
the attempted shepperd's pie that has no pie crust, only potatoes, stuffing and a cheese topping.
2 days ago, the hantarans were ready. since the only sister with creative blood is still in KL, we have to outsource and rely on expert people who enjoys spending two hours trying to match the color tones of the flowers and ribbons to be used. the 2 makciks gave very specific instructions of what to add, how to arrange them and how to make them look natural rather than kaku. wow! and they worried that the whole thing was too simple. i dared imagine how it would look if they went all out in the decorations. they are safely kept at makchik fati's house away from peeping eyes. everyone was leka berbual and we went back late.
ayah came home yesterday and we went to pasar malam taman u, prayed at masjid taman u where ayah met the imam who will be the tok kadi and then we went to giant to buy some more stuff.
this morning, we followed ayah to his chiropractic treatment and then went to larkin to look for tudungs and had brunch. then ayah went home by taxi as he wanted to play golf so we mak, kakchik and me went to mydin then angsana. at kamdar, kakchik and i played about with the stuff there while mak looked for her table cloth which she didnt find.
i think the hat matches my tudung
kakchik looking suave in the cowboy hat (see mak in the background busy looking for table cloths)
mak's using sticky notes now to keep track of to-do things
the hantarans are ready yay! very2 cantek they are.
the attempted shepperd's pie that has no pie crust, only potatoes, stuffing and a cheese topping.
Monday, May 18, 2009
cleaning
it's not that i haven't got time to update, its just that i go all blank when i want to.
since i came home, nearly everyday keluar rumah. ikut mak g sukan tadika. pegi pusat islam selesaikan borang2 (yay, didnt have to be interviewed coz the clerk knew mak). pegi jusco or giant every other day. pergi pasar malam. hantar kad to jiran2. gi pasar with kakchik beli ayam, ikan and sayur2. pegi kedai jahit makcik noi kat senai. pegi sukan wanita jim. kuar dinner with family.
i try to do everything with my sisters while i can. lepas ni susah dah.
at home, there's so much to clean and sort out i.e the overflowing clothes, the disordered books, the clutter in the house. and we keep buying more stuff.
i need to clean out some space for my 4 boxes of notes that i didnt have time to go thru in kuantan.
i remember one lady featured in Oprah who had a compulsion for buying. her house was extremely cluttered to the point of being inhabitable for the family. Oprah sent a "clutter expert" and he managed to get out all the stuff and arranged them in a yard, boleh buat yard sale. about 10 feet of stuff. makcik tu bile tgk her piles of stuff terkejut and menangis to see herself in that state. then the oprah team repaired and refurnished her house and since then she changed over a new leaf and kept her house as clean and tidy as possible. moral of the story is: too much clutter can clutter the mind too.
since i came home, nearly everyday keluar rumah. ikut mak g sukan tadika. pegi pusat islam selesaikan borang2 (yay, didnt have to be interviewed coz the clerk knew mak). pegi jusco or giant every other day. pergi pasar malam. hantar kad to jiran2. gi pasar with kakchik beli ayam, ikan and sayur2. pegi kedai jahit makcik noi kat senai. pegi sukan wanita jim. kuar dinner with family.
i try to do everything with my sisters while i can. lepas ni susah dah.
at home, there's so much to clean and sort out i.e the overflowing clothes, the disordered books, the clutter in the house. and we keep buying more stuff.
i need to clean out some space for my 4 boxes of notes that i didnt have time to go thru in kuantan.
i remember one lady featured in Oprah who had a compulsion for buying. her house was extremely cluttered to the point of being inhabitable for the family. Oprah sent a "clutter expert" and he managed to get out all the stuff and arranged them in a yard, boleh buat yard sale. about 10 feet of stuff. makcik tu bile tgk her piles of stuff terkejut and menangis to see herself in that state. then the oprah team repaired and refurnished her house and since then she changed over a new leaf and kept her house as clean and tidy as possible. moral of the story is: too much clutter can clutter the mind too.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Saturday, May 02, 2009
dr awla
it was the longest 2 minutes of my life, waiting for them to announce the results of the students whom have passed. we were all gathered at around 12.45pm, thursday. my name was among the last to be called.i was holding my breath and sucking in my stomach. it was such a relief when my name was finally mentioned. ALHAMDULILLAH. our exams was not without casualties. 2 of the brothers have to re-sit for the exams in 6 months time. they're good students. maybe Allah wants to give them this challenge to make them stronger and more strong-willed to face life's challenges ahead.
lepas tu i happily gave out my wedding cards to my friends. nanti i'll scan the card and post it here. syahadah and sibah were busy giving out their cards too. orang lain punye tak siap lagi.
petang tu there was a program for the graduating students (my batch and a few sciences students). terharunya dr melor went to greta lengths to organise the program so that we'd remain in the tarbiyah system. i cant really imagine myself outside of it. i'd be lost. there was amaanats form ustz fadzil konsis, dr latif and dr munawwar hatta. best sangat. it put things back in persepctive.
then when the program ended, our juniors in the usrah system came and performed nasheed for us, prepared a slideshow presentation of the activities done together and gave us all personalized gifts. i menangis2 terharu. huhu. asyek terharu je sejak akhir2 nih.
i look forward to the days ahead.
lepas tu i happily gave out my wedding cards to my friends. nanti i'll scan the card and post it here. syahadah and sibah were busy giving out their cards too. orang lain punye tak siap lagi.
petang tu there was a program for the graduating students (my batch and a few sciences students). terharunya dr melor went to greta lengths to organise the program so that we'd remain in the tarbiyah system. i cant really imagine myself outside of it. i'd be lost. there was amaanats form ustz fadzil konsis, dr latif and dr munawwar hatta. best sangat. it put things back in persepctive.
then when the program ended, our juniors in the usrah system came and performed nasheed for us, prepared a slideshow presentation of the activities done together and gave us all personalized gifts. i menangis2 terharu. huhu. asyek terharu je sejak akhir2 nih.
i look forward to the days ahead.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
finally final
the final, ultimate most dreaded day has come and will be over in a few hours.
my exams started at 3pm. and ended at 5pm.
long case i got a medical case. the patient, a 60 year old gentleman had DM, HPT, IHD post CABG and asthma. and it all started with a history of urinary tract stones and acute urinary retention. nganga jap td nak cari chief complaint. mule2 i thot it was surgical until i was halfway thru the history. my examiners were dato'sapari (medical- he was the chief examiner since it's his field), external examiner paeds, prof kyaw (surgery) and dr murad (ong). i present je pape. i dont think i impressed anyone. but i think i was passable because i could answer simple questions. prof kyaw asked me about the stones. dr murad couldnt asked me anything since the patient's reproductive tract was external.
then for the short cases, mr jun asked me to examine an indirect inguinal hernia, the ong external examiner asked me to examine an ovarian mass while the paeds ext examiner asked me to confirm whether the little girl had heart failure or not. baik giler derang.
best thing is, no one has to be re-examined on thursday. alhamdulillah. coolness.
we're one step away.
gembirenye. dapatlah daku kawen dgn bahagianye tanpa memikirkan masalah pelajaran.
i can leave kuantan. ish, terase sedih plak. er, on 2nd thots, more happy then sedih. i wanna move on.
my exams started at 3pm. and ended at 5pm.
long case i got a medical case. the patient, a 60 year old gentleman had DM, HPT, IHD post CABG and asthma. and it all started with a history of urinary tract stones and acute urinary retention. nganga jap td nak cari chief complaint. mule2 i thot it was surgical until i was halfway thru the history. my examiners were dato'sapari (medical- he was the chief examiner since it's his field), external examiner paeds, prof kyaw (surgery) and dr murad (ong). i present je pape. i dont think i impressed anyone. but i think i was passable because i could answer simple questions. prof kyaw asked me about the stones. dr murad couldnt asked me anything since the patient's reproductive tract was external.
then for the short cases, mr jun asked me to examine an indirect inguinal hernia, the ong external examiner asked me to examine an ovarian mass while the paeds ext examiner asked me to confirm whether the little girl had heart failure or not. baik giler derang.
best thing is, no one has to be re-examined on thursday. alhamdulillah. coolness.
we're one step away.
gembirenye. dapatlah daku kawen dgn bahagianye tanpa memikirkan masalah pelajaran.
i can leave kuantan. ish, terase sedih plak. er, on 2nd thots, more happy then sedih. i wanna move on.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
flight of ideas yang tak berape flight sangat
it's day one post PMP and OSCE exams. macam biasa, some were answerable and some weren't. PMP keluar IM- acute hepatitis with meningitis and SOB, PAEDS- acute rheumatic fever, SURG- diverticular disease, O&G- PPROM with chorioamnitis and down syndrome baby. OSCE paling hebat lah i menghentam idea2 bernas haha. Tru-cut biopsy needle i went and said needle for lumbar puncture haha.
the night before yesterday i didn't really feel nervous but it manifested through initial insomnia and early morning awakening.
everyone was busy sending exam wishes and apologies via SMS. a friend said rase macam raya plak dpt byk sgt SMS hehe. gembira jugak dapat those messages.
one day down. 2 more to go.
monday is MCQ day and my clinicals will be on tuesday. i'm the 5th and last group for the first day, huhu. mesti examiners sume dah penat yg amat. mesti hebat2 my examiners nanti. i must perform hebat jugak.
i got my set of cards already. cant wait to distribute them post-exams hehe. must get people's addresses after this.
the night before yesterday i didn't really feel nervous but it manifested through initial insomnia and early morning awakening.
everyone was busy sending exam wishes and apologies via SMS. a friend said rase macam raya plak dpt byk sgt SMS hehe. gembira jugak dapat those messages.
one day down. 2 more to go.
monday is MCQ day and my clinicals will be on tuesday. i'm the 5th and last group for the first day, huhu. mesti examiners sume dah penat yg amat. mesti hebat2 my examiners nanti. i must perform hebat jugak.
i got my set of cards already. cant wait to distribute them post-exams hehe. must get people's addresses after this.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
another 5 days
another 5 days for the final showdown.
the 5 years of hard work at medschool comes down to how well we perform during the 2 hours of clinical exams on the 28th to 30th april.
our continuous assessment throughout the clinical years help a lot for the theory exams on 24th and 27th. we just need a few more marks to pass iA.
pray for us!
the 5 years of hard work at medschool comes down to how well we perform during the 2 hours of clinical exams on the 28th to 30th april.
our continuous assessment throughout the clinical years help a lot for the theory exams on 24th and 27th. we just need a few more marks to pass iA.
pray for us!
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
post psychi
i just had my psychiatric long case this morning. i got a clinic case alhamdulillah. many of my friends got ward cases. those would either be schizo or bipolar.
my case was a 26 year old malay lady with major depressive disorder postpartum onset. i presented the case to my fave lecturer, dr nora. i actually forgot to do the MSE but tried to talk my way thru. i think i git the main features.
memang whatever we say or answer will be used against us so make sure you are certain of everything that you mention. if you dont know the subject very well, then make sure that you can talk well. we actually determine what questions the examiner asks us.
yesterday's PMPs were also on depression.
after the exams this morning, i went to the psychi kopitiam where they train the stable patients to work as waiters and count money. it improves their confidence to find work later. when i went there, i wanted to eat nasi lemak but i couldnt even finish my meal and ate slowly, looking around at my surrounding, my mind not really thinking of anything in particular. the staff there saw my behaviour and diagnosed me as being anxious and depressed, haha. they told me not to worry.
i have one day to recuperate then its serous study ahead until 24th of april!
hmm habes dah psychi or sakai. everything's sentimental now. can't wait to finish my PRO exams.
my case was a 26 year old malay lady with major depressive disorder postpartum onset. i presented the case to my fave lecturer, dr nora. i actually forgot to do the MSE but tried to talk my way thru. i think i git the main features.
memang whatever we say or answer will be used against us so make sure you are certain of everything that you mention. if you dont know the subject very well, then make sure that you can talk well. we actually determine what questions the examiner asks us.
yesterday's PMPs were also on depression.
after the exams this morning, i went to the psychi kopitiam where they train the stable patients to work as waiters and count money. it improves their confidence to find work later. when i went there, i wanted to eat nasi lemak but i couldnt even finish my meal and ate slowly, looking around at my surrounding, my mind not really thinking of anything in particular. the staff there saw my behaviour and diagnosed me as being anxious and depressed, haha. they told me not to worry.
i have one day to recuperate then its serous study ahead until 24th of april!
hmm habes dah psychi or sakai. everything's sentimental now. can't wait to finish my PRO exams.
Friday, April 03, 2009
baby hanan
salam people, meet the cute baby "hanan binti ahmad nizam".
yep, safura and nizam's 3-day old neonate.
picture taken while azza and i curi2 masuk into the special care neonate (SCN) which is actually offlimits to med students hehe. we were not caught alhamdulillah.
mommy and baby are at home now alhamdulillah. baby hanan had to undergo phototherapy as she had physiological jaundice at day 2 of life.
p.s. i'm at the library. just studied two psychi topics. didn't plan on studying at the library but was forced to because the hostel lights are currently out due to some repairs done by TNB.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
psych exams
next monday and tuesday will be my last end posting exams.
i hope i can do well in psychiatry inshaAllah.
please pray for me and my batch.
jazakumullahukhairan kathira.
i hope i can do well in psychiatry inshaAllah.
please pray for me and my batch.
jazakumullahukhairan kathira.
ventilating
you don't have to read this entry.
i just want to ventilate so that i can regain my concentration and restore my peace of mind.
just now, we had a class on medical law by Dr Akram, IIUM's legal advisor. it was a very interesting lecture on the importance of doctors knowing the legal aspect of their practice so that they can treat patients effectively (and cover their backs too while their at it). the psychiatric nurse-cum-lawyer was very energetic and explained eloquently on the matter that everyone was wide awake through most of the lecture.
what i am furious about is what happened in between the lecture, during the 10 minute break.
the batch leader, who most kindly checked all of our forms which were to be submitted to the MMC and MMH, had found several forms which were incomplete. so he went in front an exclaimed his frustration with my batchmates who had been inconsiderate by submitting the deficient forms so he had to return them.
in order to return the lacking forms, he he went on to mention the names of the my friends who had been so thoughtless as to have done that. everyone had their fingers crossed and worried whether his or her name would be called and whether they were among the thoughtless people who had not completed the tedious form requirements.
when the first name was called, i saw from her body language (the way she walked to the front and resposnded) that she was defensive. who wouldn't be? the first thought that came to my mind was, what did she do wrong? i felt empathic and knew that if that had happened to me, i would feel the same way too. but at the same time, i also thought, may be he was so tired and stressed out with everyone's incompetence that he saw no other way to return the forms to the owners which would be less degrading or humiliating.
the next person called was one of my best friends. again, i was empathic but it was still not the same. after several other names, my name was called. huh? what did i do wrong? what was not complete? i asked my friend to check. i had submitted the form 2 days ago. the batch leader who is also in my posting could have returned it to me personally. i met him this morning. i started to fume with anger. the forms were left on the table in front and i couldnt get it until the end of the lecture.
the next 15 minutes of lecture, i couldnt concetrate because i was going through the possibilities of what i did wrong and all the less humiliating methods that he could have used to return the forms. surprisingly, all the names were girls. i guess the guys' forms which were not completed could be returned directly to them sparing their names from being called.
i know, you think i'm over reacting to this extremely small matter. so what if my name was called? so what if i had not completed the forms? why make such a big deal.
everyone wants to look good in front of others. mistakes or errors should not be publicly announced. it is okay to say something in general but when specific names are mentioned, then it makes someone look bad in front of others. although it was unintentional, it was demeaning nonetheless.
there are many hadiths stating how the prophet would go to great lengths to save the face and honour of his sahabah. when one sahabah farted, he got up to renew his wudhu' too.
i tried to concentrate on the lecture but i had to use so much extra energy to distract my thoughts from my anger that i became tired after a while. i nearly felt like crying. it doesn't help when you have a haze in your left eye, which is a temporary complication of the PRK causing light to be scattered. i had a left-sided headache from too much concentration.
i tried to convince myself that it was nothing. when the lecture ended and i looked through my form, several people asked me with concern, what was not complete? i made the mistake of actually giving one copy of the photostated forms instead of two.
it's just not the same thing when you're the name that is called.
ironically, the previous lecture did include defamation and how everyone has the right to a good name and honour. any act or word that may destroy or reduce this good name in any form, resulting in sane, responsible people or the society thinking bad of that person, can be sued under defamation. (i'm not a lawyer, forgive my deficiency in knowledge of legal terms).
moral of the story, be sensitive. if you protect people's honour as best as you can, inshaAllah, Allah will protect yours too.
i just want to ventilate so that i can regain my concentration and restore my peace of mind.
just now, we had a class on medical law by Dr Akram, IIUM's legal advisor. it was a very interesting lecture on the importance of doctors knowing the legal aspect of their practice so that they can treat patients effectively (and cover their backs too while their at it). the psychiatric nurse-cum-lawyer was very energetic and explained eloquently on the matter that everyone was wide awake through most of the lecture.
what i am furious about is what happened in between the lecture, during the 10 minute break.
the batch leader, who most kindly checked all of our forms which were to be submitted to the MMC and MMH, had found several forms which were incomplete. so he went in front an exclaimed his frustration with my batchmates who had been inconsiderate by submitting the deficient forms so he had to return them.
in order to return the lacking forms, he he went on to mention the names of the my friends who had been so thoughtless as to have done that. everyone had their fingers crossed and worried whether his or her name would be called and whether they were among the thoughtless people who had not completed the tedious form requirements.
when the first name was called, i saw from her body language (the way she walked to the front and resposnded) that she was defensive. who wouldn't be? the first thought that came to my mind was, what did she do wrong? i felt empathic and knew that if that had happened to me, i would feel the same way too. but at the same time, i also thought, may be he was so tired and stressed out with everyone's incompetence that he saw no other way to return the forms to the owners which would be less degrading or humiliating.
the next person called was one of my best friends. again, i was empathic but it was still not the same. after several other names, my name was called. huh? what did i do wrong? what was not complete? i asked my friend to check. i had submitted the form 2 days ago. the batch leader who is also in my posting could have returned it to me personally. i met him this morning. i started to fume with anger. the forms were left on the table in front and i couldnt get it until the end of the lecture.
the next 15 minutes of lecture, i couldnt concetrate because i was going through the possibilities of what i did wrong and all the less humiliating methods that he could have used to return the forms. surprisingly, all the names were girls. i guess the guys' forms which were not completed could be returned directly to them sparing their names from being called.
i know, you think i'm over reacting to this extremely small matter. so what if my name was called? so what if i had not completed the forms? why make such a big deal.
everyone wants to look good in front of others. mistakes or errors should not be publicly announced. it is okay to say something in general but when specific names are mentioned, then it makes someone look bad in front of others. although it was unintentional, it was demeaning nonetheless.
there are many hadiths stating how the prophet would go to great lengths to save the face and honour of his sahabah. when one sahabah farted, he got up to renew his wudhu' too.
i tried to concentrate on the lecture but i had to use so much extra energy to distract my thoughts from my anger that i became tired after a while. i nearly felt like crying. it doesn't help when you have a haze in your left eye, which is a temporary complication of the PRK causing light to be scattered. i had a left-sided headache from too much concentration.
i tried to convince myself that it was nothing. when the lecture ended and i looked through my form, several people asked me with concern, what was not complete? i made the mistake of actually giving one copy of the photostated forms instead of two.
it's just not the same thing when you're the name that is called.
ironically, the previous lecture did include defamation and how everyone has the right to a good name and honour. any act or word that may destroy or reduce this good name in any form, resulting in sane, responsible people or the society thinking bad of that person, can be sued under defamation. (i'm not a lawyer, forgive my deficiency in knowledge of legal terms).
moral of the story, be sensitive. if you protect people's honour as best as you can, inshaAllah, Allah will protect yours too.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
MDD
at the clinic today i clerked a middleaged chinese lady and diagnosed her to have major depressive disorder (mdd) with anxiety symptoms. i had to spend a long time reassuring her about her condition and convince her to take her medication. she's a teacher so she's educated and has read a lot so it was tough convincing her as she was afraid of the side effects of the medication. she had [sychomotor retardation and couldn't concentrate on what i was telling her.
many people suffer from MDD. i wanna help these people but i have to teguhkan my perasaan dulu or i'll be affected easily.
rase macam terdevelop counter transferance je.
in 2 days i've met 2 female teachers who developed MDD. both were rather of the perfectionist type and worried a lot. i can't make any generalisation but both had an underlying susceptibility to become depressed.
"Ya Allah, please keep my mind healthy and prevent me from getting depression. and please give me the ability and competency to help others in need."
many people suffer from MDD. i wanna help these people but i have to teguhkan my perasaan dulu or i'll be affected easily.
rase macam terdevelop counter transferance je.
in 2 days i've met 2 female teachers who developed MDD. both were rather of the perfectionist type and worried a lot. i can't make any generalisation but both had an underlying susceptibility to become depressed.
"Ya Allah, please keep my mind healthy and prevent me from getting depression. and please give me the ability and competency to help others in need."
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
high and low
one of jo's bestfriend
it's amazing what a refreshing nap and a phone call can do to enlighten my spirits.
yesterday i joined Dr Nora's clinic sessions and met many interesting patients. we saw other cases apart from schizophrenia alhamdulillah.
today my group was scheduled to follow the community psychiatric nurse go for home visits. i was expecting an exciting day but had a rather drab one. maybe if i had been less enthusthiastic i would have felt better?
Monday, March 23, 2009
What do you do when...
What do you do when your end posting exams are 2 weeks away and there’s still so much that you don’t know?
What do you do when your ultimate exam that is designed to assess whatever you have learnt for the last 5 years and also evaluate your safety to be given the license to practice is in 5 weeks time and you don’t know what the heck it is that you actually know?
What do you do when you feel that you have been having shortness of breath on exertion (NYHA class 2), restricted airway, fullness of the throat and occasional localized, sudden onset, stabbing left-sided chest pain lasting only several seconds and an ECG and flexible nasolaryngoscopy proved absence of any pathology you diagnose yourself as hypochondriasis with globus hystericus? Oh and on otoscopy your tympanic membrane looked perfectly healthy and the ENT guy says your fit for the exams? Oh and your friends help you by teasing you about the problem?
What do you do when your frustrated with your fiancé who is acting all gloomy, refuses to speak or sms you, you don’t have a clue what is happening yet there are some things that you need to ask him?
What do you do when your posting mate has adjustment disorder because she absolutely hates psychi and cant wait to run back to the OT and her mood is contagious that your mildly infected as well?
What do you do when one of your anak usrah is conveniently uncontactable around peri-usrah (read: before and after) time but somehow can answer your sms at some other time.
What do you do when you think you like psychi but find yourself relating too much with the symptoms that you start to become depressed?
What do you do when you only study because you love spending time with your best friends in the best study group ever?
What do you do when you try to lift your spirits but find it so hard to do?
What do you do when you feel like you wanna break down and cry like you did last time in orthopaedics but it’s all stuck inside?
What do you do when you know you haven’t completed your 6 case summaries and haven’t read through your scribbled notes which you had planned to do last week and your desk is a pile of mess, but don’t feel like doing any study-related activity at present?
I dunno what you would do.
But this is what I did.
I ironed 4 baju kurungs, 4 pants, 1 white coat and 1 tudung while watching 3 episodes of House Season 4 and wrote this entry.
My diagnosis is mixed affective disoreder precipitated by recent life stressors and perpetuated by the upcoming exams and type A personality.
What do you do when your ultimate exam that is designed to assess whatever you have learnt for the last 5 years and also evaluate your safety to be given the license to practice is in 5 weeks time and you don’t know what the heck it is that you actually know?
What do you do when you feel that you have been having shortness of breath on exertion (NYHA class 2), restricted airway, fullness of the throat and occasional localized, sudden onset, stabbing left-sided chest pain lasting only several seconds and an ECG and flexible nasolaryngoscopy proved absence of any pathology you diagnose yourself as hypochondriasis with globus hystericus? Oh and on otoscopy your tympanic membrane looked perfectly healthy and the ENT guy says your fit for the exams? Oh and your friends help you by teasing you about the problem?
What do you do when your frustrated with your fiancé who is acting all gloomy, refuses to speak or sms you, you don’t have a clue what is happening yet there are some things that you need to ask him?
What do you do when your posting mate has adjustment disorder because she absolutely hates psychi and cant wait to run back to the OT and her mood is contagious that your mildly infected as well?
What do you do when one of your anak usrah is conveniently uncontactable around peri-usrah (read: before and after) time but somehow can answer your sms at some other time.
What do you do when you think you like psychi but find yourself relating too much with the symptoms that you start to become depressed?
What do you do when you only study because you love spending time with your best friends in the best study group ever?
What do you do when you try to lift your spirits but find it so hard to do?
What do you do when you feel like you wanna break down and cry like you did last time in orthopaedics but it’s all stuck inside?
What do you do when you know you haven’t completed your 6 case summaries and haven’t read through your scribbled notes which you had planned to do last week and your desk is a pile of mess, but don’t feel like doing any study-related activity at present?
I dunno what you would do.
But this is what I did.
I ironed 4 baju kurungs, 4 pants, 1 white coat and 1 tudung while watching 3 episodes of House Season 4 and wrote this entry.
My diagnosis is mixed affective disoreder precipitated by recent life stressors and perpetuated by the upcoming exams and type A personality.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
postcard from manchester
one of the things that can lift the spirit, relieve sore backs and feet and make me forget all my worries and problems after coming back from an oncall is a lovely POSTCARD from a friend.
many thanx to fae from manchester. all the best with her studies :)
can't wait for postcards from klang ;)
many thanx to fae from manchester. all the best with her studies :)
can't wait for postcards from klang ;)
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
WHAT THOSE WORDS ON YEARLY PERFORMANCE REVIEWS REALLY MEAN
1. OUTGOING PERSONALITY – Always going out of the office
2. GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS– Able to bullshit
3. GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS – Spends a lot of time on phone
4. WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY – Too ugly to get a date
5. ACTIVE SOCIALLY – Drinks a lot
6. INDEPENDENT WORKER – Nobody knows what he/she does
7. QUICK THINKING – Offers plausible excuses
8. CAREFUL THINKER – Won’t make a decision
9. USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS – Gets someone else to do it
10. EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL – Speaks English
11. METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL – A nit picker
12. HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES – Is tall or has a louder voice
13. EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT – Lucky
14. KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR – Knows a lot of dirty jokes
15. CAREER MINDED – Back Stabber
16. LOYAL – Can’t get a job anywhere else
17. PLANS FOR PROMOTION/ADVANCEMENT – Buys drinks for all the boys
18. OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANISATION – Gets to work on time
19. RELAXED ATTITUDE – Sleeps at desk
p.s: i was going thru documents on ayah's notebook and this one caught my fancy haha
2. GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS– Able to bullshit
3. GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS – Spends a lot of time on phone
4. WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY – Too ugly to get a date
5. ACTIVE SOCIALLY – Drinks a lot
6. INDEPENDENT WORKER – Nobody knows what he/she does
7. QUICK THINKING – Offers plausible excuses
8. CAREFUL THINKER – Won’t make a decision
9. USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS – Gets someone else to do it
10. EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL – Speaks English
11. METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL – A nit picker
12. HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES – Is tall or has a louder voice
13. EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT – Lucky
14. KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR – Knows a lot of dirty jokes
15. CAREER MINDED – Back Stabber
16. LOYAL – Can’t get a job anywhere else
17. PLANS FOR PROMOTION/ADVANCEMENT – Buys drinks for all the boys
18. OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANISATION – Gets to work on time
19. RELAXED ATTITUDE – Sleeps at desk
p.s: i was going thru documents on ayah's notebook and this one caught my fancy haha
saje je
being home without my sisters terasa agak kesepian. huhu takkan nak balik lagi next week. i still have loads to revise with my studygroup. but..but...
banyak gak kene pikir skrg nih.
balik naik bus nih involves a lot of waiting.
banyak gak kene pikir skrg nih.
balik naik bus nih involves a lot of waiting.
Saturday, March 07, 2009
ramblings on psychi and etc
most of the patients who get admitted to the psychiatric ward have either schizophrenia, bipolar mood disorder, major depressive disorder or substance-induced psychosis. other cases like anxiety disorders are seen in the clinic. i've just clerked a few patients je. cane nak jadi psychiatrist nih.
some of my friends are getting very severe reactions to this psychiatric posting and are immunocompromised. at least 4 of them are down with the flu. may they get better iA.
clerking manic patients is very interesting.
there's this one patient with very bizarre delusions about being zat Allah. i'll write about him later. gotto catch some winks first. have been terribly sleepy in class, the only way to prevent it is by offering to write on the whiteboard during dr hajee's class.
..........................................
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
[info][add][mail]
Rita Mae Brown
i think in my case, i'm the only sane one haha.
p.s: joe had some baby cockroaches infestation. i've treated him with some insecticide. hopefully all the bugs have been killed. mebe due to food crumbs in the car. no more snacks for joe.
some of my friends are getting very severe reactions to this psychiatric posting and are immunocompromised. at least 4 of them are down with the flu. may they get better iA.
clerking manic patients is very interesting.
there's this one patient with very bizarre delusions about being zat Allah. i'll write about him later. gotto catch some winks first. have been terribly sleepy in class, the only way to prevent it is by offering to write on the whiteboard during dr hajee's class.
..........................................
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
[info][add][mail]
Rita Mae Brown
i think in my case, i'm the only sane one haha.
p.s: joe had some baby cockroaches infestation. i've treated him with some insecticide. hopefully all the bugs have been killed. mebe due to food crumbs in the car. no more snacks for joe.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
more psychi
it's my 2nd week of psychi.
in the clinic yesterday, we saw an OA couple with psychiatric problems. the husband has panic disorder whilst the wife has schizophrenia with depression and side effects of the risperidone (anti-psychotic) that she's taking. she has galactorroea (keluar susu), blurring of vision and dysphagia (anti-cholinergic effects). menarik jugak kisah derang utk dipelajari.
hmm, im trying to keep up my enthusiasm in psyhciatry. its rather fading out. i feel like i have some manic and depressive symptoms i.e insomnia, spending spree, tapi low mood and lack of energy. bipolar 1 mood disorder?
anyways, 2 of my best friends will share their wedding dates with me. i always thought i'd be there for them. now i cant, huhu. and they cant be there for me. except maybe hi hi bye bye je.
___________________________________________________
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
Scott Adams (1957 - ), Dogbert; Dilbert cartoons
With a stop light, green means 'go' and yellow means 'slow down'. With a banana, however, it is quite the opposite. Yellow means 'go', green means 'whoa, slow down', and red means 'where the heck did you get that banana?'
Mitch Hedberg (1968 - 2005)
in the clinic yesterday, we saw an OA couple with psychiatric problems. the husband has panic disorder whilst the wife has schizophrenia with depression and side effects of the risperidone (anti-psychotic) that she's taking. she has galactorroea (keluar susu), blurring of vision and dysphagia (anti-cholinergic effects). menarik jugak kisah derang utk dipelajari.
hmm, im trying to keep up my enthusiasm in psyhciatry. its rather fading out. i feel like i have some manic and depressive symptoms i.e insomnia, spending spree, tapi low mood and lack of energy. bipolar 1 mood disorder?
anyways, 2 of my best friends will share their wedding dates with me. i always thought i'd be there for them. now i cant, huhu. and they cant be there for me. except maybe hi hi bye bye je.
___________________________________________________
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
Scott Adams (1957 - ), Dogbert; Dilbert cartoons
With a stop light, green means 'go' and yellow means 'slow down'. With a banana, however, it is quite the opposite. Yellow means 'go', green means 'whoa, slow down', and red means 'where the heck did you get that banana?'
Mitch Hedberg (1968 - 2005)
Friday, February 20, 2009
learning points in psychi
Readers beware: this entry contains medical jargon in abundance. If you fail to comprehend any term, do not hesitate to ask, or you can google them up yourself.
After day 4 of life in the psychiatric ward and clinic, this is what I have learnt:
# The psychi ppl like to use short forms too:
o PR: pakar review (talk about campurization)
o TTH: talk to himself
o LTH: laugh to himself
o Setakat ni je yg I jumpe dulu (baru day 4)
# Most of the guys who become psychotic have a history of substance abuse. Glue sniffing is becoming a popular detrimental past time amongst the youngsters (cane anak muda bangsa kite nih? Cemane nak jadi pemimpin?)
# Despite knowing many cases of malay muslims guys who take alcohol, abuse drugs and are promiscuous, I can’t desensitize myself and am still judgmental against them
# Most of the women who suffer from depression are caused by problems with their husbands (yang kahwin lain)
# Schizophrenia in psychiatry is like diabetes mellitus in internal medicine. It’s a chronic incurable disease which can only be controlled with medication. And it is the umbrella body of many psychotic disorders. Most of the patients are diagnosed as schizophrenia.
# I think schizophrenia in adults are like autism in children in that both prefer to live in their inner worlds
# When the doctors (or med students) don’t know what to write as the chief complaint, they put it down as “abnormal behavior”.
# Diagnosis of psychotic patients in psychiatry depends more on how the psychiatrist was trained rather than the clinical presentation of the patient. One of my lecturers is anti-schizo, another diagnoses schizo freely while the third takes the middle road, haha.
#The difference between psychosis and neurosis is loss of insight. In the former, there is a loss.
# Insight include 3 things:
o Awareness of the being ill
o Attribution of the illness; recognize the abnormality of the phenomena is due to mental illness
o The need to seek treatment
# Absolute diagnosis of psychiatric patients is a challenge as there are no confirmatory/ diagnostic tests that can be carried out unlike in other disciplines.
# There are hardly any psychiatric symptoms that normal people do not experience (i. e low mood, feeling elated, spending spree, anorexia, weight gain or loss, anxious, phobias etc ) . What jifferentiates both groups is the degree of the symptoms that they have.
# Since treating patients with mental illness is mentally exhausting, psychiatrist can only see a maximum of 5 cases per day compared to (10-20 cases of in other specialist clinics).
# The psychiatric wardround is a sitting wardround. It’s good for those with flat feet and less stamina.
# The mini mental state examination (MMSE) is an unreliable test unless done at the first presentation or during an acute stage of illness. Otherwise, patients usually have memorized it and tak larat nak layan dah.
# Speech in MSE is assessed whether it is
o Coherent (understandable)
o Relevant (answers the examiners questions relevantly)
o Rational (the answeris correct)
# One’s socioeconomic status does render one susceptible to certain psychiatric disorders i.e
o High SES: anorexia nervosa and bipolar mood disorder
o Low SES: depression and schizophrenia (however banyak jugak educated people who become depressed)
# Stages of grief (by Kubler-Ross)can be remembered by the pneumonic SABDA:
o Shock/ denial: this can’t be happening to me
o Anger: why is this happening to me? Who is to blame?
o Bargaining: make this not happen and in return I will …
o Depression: I’m too sad to do anything
o Acceptance: I’m at peace with what has happened/ is going to happen?
# Delirium
o is a medical emergency (because psychotic patients act on their delusions and hallucinations)
o is under diagnosed as the cause can be any disease under the sun and also because it is usually undetected due to sun downing (worsening of symptoms toward the evening)
o affects extreme age groups (children and the elderly)
a nut case
The following case summary is the result of a conspiracy amongst my friends (faizah, sibah, asma’, syahadah & aishah) against me during one of the psychiatric lectures in the 2-week introduction to psychiatry in year 4.
The case:
This 23 year old malay lady presented with symptoms of attention deficit disorder.
History of presenting illness:
•Drowsy during the class
Duration: from the beginning until the end of the lecture for 4 years
Onset: acute
Aggravating factor: nik aishah
Relieving factor: faizah, eating, talking
Maintaining factors: lecturers voices especially dr umeed’s and dr hajee’s
•Able to sleep even while eating and nodding head
•Dysarthria due to uncontrolled drowsiness with drooling of saliva
•Sometimes associated with aggressive behavior such as attacking other students while she presents in front
•Motor disorder: has stereotype movement (regular, repeated, purposeless movement), normal posture.
•Stupor in class for a few minutes
•Recurrent history of sleeping disorders
•Recurrent history of being detected by lecturers in the class for being sleepy, yet arousable
•Not on any drugs but likes the smell of petrol at gas stations
•History of allergy to lecture halls at IMC, JHC and Temerloh Hospital
•Lack of motivation in class.
Hehe, okay, I can’t deny some of the facts stated above, but I have to say, drooling of saliva in class tak pernah eh :P huhu, inilah dia hasil kerja kawan-kawan baik ku.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
25 (+5) random things
1. I was born on the 27th of ramadhan in my grandma’s house in Baling, Kedah.
2. I am the 3rd daughter. I used to think I was like Cinderella and my sisters used to bully me
3. I went to a private religious school.
4. I’m a collector and a junkie. I have loads of sentimental stuff.
5. I like receiving postcards with stamps on them and also snail mail. Kad raya tak sebest post card.
6. I’ve wanted to become a doctor ever since my dad said that a professor wasn’t a valid ambition and that a doctor was a better choice.
7. I like the colour blue ever since I can remember. But tones of red are also interesting.
8. I like oranges and guava with seeds.
9. I frown when people eat on my bed lest I get bedbugs. They’re very troublesome organisms.
10. I want to travel across the world but have not been able to yet.
11. I want to open a recycling centre and 2nd hand shop.
12. I grew up watching loads of television series and cartoons.
13. I like to be prepared. I’d buy minyak angin not because I need it but the thought that I (or my friends)may need to use it one day (macam girl guide sket)
14. I am usually indecisive but I don’t really allow my indecision to last long or it will affect my activities.
15. I love my 2 nephews and 1 niece terribly.
16. My obsessive and compulsive traits include hygiene and checking rituals.
17. I believe that shopping is therapeutic but I don’t really like to shop too long as it is tiring.
18. I have pes planus and ligament laxity. I can’t stand very long without getting sore soles.
19. I have sisters who have dermographia.
20. I like children’s songs and English nasheeds. I hate listening to songs with terrible lyrics.
21. I think that blogging is a wonderful let out for my thoughts, frustrations, hopes and recent updates.
22. I have a small circle of close friends whom I love dearly.
23. I easily fall asleep against my will when someone is lecturing or when I am very still.
24. I like to use sarcasm with those who appreciate them.
25. If I believe in something, I will go all out for it even though I have to do it alone.
26. Five years with the same roommate has made me a tolerant person, hehe.
27. Five years in the same room has allowed me to store loads of stuff. Dunno how I’m bringing them home.
28. I like observing and analyzing people.
29. I’m a sceptic and a judgemental person. I’m trying my best to practice husnu dzon.
30. I love everything that motivates and inspires me.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
quotes
When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice.
Marquis de la Grange (1639 - 1692)
hehe so true.
Marquis de la Grange (1639 - 1692)
hehe so true.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
dinner with the dentist
outing with azira. punyelah nak azira blanje, i sanggup pergi amek and hantar cik dentist kite nih. susah betul nak jumpe. i keep hearing about her from friends who went to the dentist haha
yummylicious food especially when someone else is footing the bill hehe.. jgn jeles
the cakes we chose after a hearty dinner. tak larat nak makan dah.
the smoothies...
this is the psychiatric ward that i'm posted to.
Monday, February 16, 2009
psychi 1st day
its my 1st day of psychiatry. i'm attached to dr ramli for 2 weeks. the highlight of this posting is the visit to hospital permai tampoi. boleh balik rumah yay! but thats 4 weeks away huhu.
i dunno what to say of psychiatry yet. i reserve my judgement for now.
i dunno what to say of psychiatry yet. i reserve my judgement for now.
Sunday, February 08, 2009
pictures
Dr puteri melur's baby girl - Zainab Al-Ghazali bt Husni
Nik Sumayyah's baby boy - Omar
nawaz with mak teh's sunglasses
girl's day out at KLCC. bought shoes and perfume. lunched at the manhattan fish shop.
(i had bilateral sore shoulders carrying around lappie the whole day)
having a blast with sisters
Monday, February 02, 2009
post exams syndrome
i've just finished my surgical theory exams.
i tackled the MCQ'S like i always do. as much as i possibly can. setakat ni my "strategy" has worked for me.
OSCE keluar trochar for spc, proctoscope for haemorrhoid banding (i got this one wrong), IVU showing bilateral hydonephrosis and hydroureter, ERCP with dilated CBD and stones.
i nganga jap tengok trochar tu. never seen it before. and then looked at mr jun for help. he didnt give me the answer. i guessed it was for SPC and he said "ye la tu". yay, baru boleh jawab the questions hehe. thanx mr jun.
PMP case 1 MVA with splenic injury and shock, case 2 prostete carcinoma. asyek keluar je prostate ca tapi i asyek tak dapat jawab management dia. hopefully when i see a real case nanti, i'll be competent to manage the patient well.
k, pray that i can do my long case and short case well this wednesday. jzkk.
(can't wait to go see my sisters)
.....................................
i was listening to these words while i was revising yesterday and thought it was nice to digest and share with others. banyak kali je dengar. yesterday, i made the effort to type it out.
“Every vessel, every container, will only pour out what is contained in it, that is very obvious.
And so your tongue is your ability to express what lies in your spirit.
TV, movies, the friends you hang out with, the music you listen to, everything around you is environmental forces that shape how your being is and how your heart is.
When you open your mouth to speak, it’s like your heart is a sponge that absorbs all of this material from around you.
Essentially what you are doing is squeezing what is in you and what comes out is going to be what has been compiled in your mind and in your memory. Obviously, you can only express in your heart, what has been placed in it.
And so, in order for the outcome and the output from the tongue to be positive, the input in that needs to be positive; in spirit, in silence, in talking, and throughout our lives.”
-outlandish-
yep, you are what you eat. you are what you speak. you are what you read and write.
on a lighter note, it's a happy2 world around me.
dr melur delivered a baby girl today.
nik su delivered a baby boy today too.
2 of my friends are pregnant.
my best friends are no longer single and available. yay! except roomie that is.
i tackled the MCQ'S like i always do. as much as i possibly can. setakat ni my "strategy" has worked for me.
OSCE keluar trochar for spc, proctoscope for haemorrhoid banding (i got this one wrong), IVU showing bilateral hydonephrosis and hydroureter, ERCP with dilated CBD and stones.
i nganga jap tengok trochar tu. never seen it before. and then looked at mr jun for help. he didnt give me the answer. i guessed it was for SPC and he said "ye la tu". yay, baru boleh jawab the questions hehe. thanx mr jun.
PMP case 1 MVA with splenic injury and shock, case 2 prostete carcinoma. asyek keluar je prostate ca tapi i asyek tak dapat jawab management dia. hopefully when i see a real case nanti, i'll be competent to manage the patient well.
k, pray that i can do my long case and short case well this wednesday. jzkk.
(can't wait to go see my sisters)
.....................................
i was listening to these words while i was revising yesterday and thought it was nice to digest and share with others. banyak kali je dengar. yesterday, i made the effort to type it out.
“Every vessel, every container, will only pour out what is contained in it, that is very obvious.
And so your tongue is your ability to express what lies in your spirit.
TV, movies, the friends you hang out with, the music you listen to, everything around you is environmental forces that shape how your being is and how your heart is.
When you open your mouth to speak, it’s like your heart is a sponge that absorbs all of this material from around you.
Essentially what you are doing is squeezing what is in you and what comes out is going to be what has been compiled in your mind and in your memory. Obviously, you can only express in your heart, what has been placed in it.
And so, in order for the outcome and the output from the tongue to be positive, the input in that needs to be positive; in spirit, in silence, in talking, and throughout our lives.”
-outlandish-
yep, you are what you eat. you are what you speak. you are what you read and write.
on a lighter note, it's a happy2 world around me.
dr melur delivered a baby girl today.
nik su delivered a baby boy today too.
2 of my friends are pregnant.
my best friends are no longer single and available. yay! except roomie that is.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
sepetang bersama nenek
i went to nenek's house 2 days ago to return the book that aza borrowed. the nenek 'belanja'd us nasi goreng udang at a nearby stall siap bagi bawak balik udang salut tepung bungkus lagi.
my eyes look like racoon eyes
faizah ikut skaliTuesday, January 27, 2009
e.x.a.m.s
another 3 more exams to go.
surgical end posting exam on the 2nd and 4th of february,
psychiatry end posting exam in early april and
FINAL PROFESSIONAL EXAMS on the 27th April until 1st may 2009.
typical usrah session
i've been in the same usrah group since 1st year. my usrahmates are also my best friends.
our current naqibah is the 4th one. each naqibah had their own style and we learnt a lot from all of them.
we discuss a lot of issues and topics during our sessions.
everyone's consciousness level fluctuates during our sessions. gilir2 tidur sebab semua selalu kepenatan. presenter je tak boleh tidur hehe.
i'll miss my friends terribly when we graduate. but i know we will always have each other as our hearts are binded by iman inshaAllah.
our current naqibah is the 4th one. each naqibah had their own style and we learnt a lot from all of them.
we discuss a lot of issues and topics during our sessions.
everyone's consciousness level fluctuates during our sessions. gilir2 tidur sebab semua selalu kepenatan. presenter je tak boleh tidur hehe.
i'll miss my friends terribly when we graduate. but i know we will always have each other as our hearts are binded by iman inshaAllah.
Monday, January 26, 2009
as told by jo
i am from johor. i just moved to kuantan a few months back to help awla move about in kuantan.
the journey to kuantan was ok. during my 2nd week i bumped into a car because awla didn't adjust her side mirror well. my backside is still dented until today because she doesn't have the time to go send it to the workshop for repair.
i dont go to the hospital everyday. sometimes awla catches a ride with her roomie or takes a bus to school so i'm left at the mahallat car park. i'm not scared to be left alone because there are so many cars around. i'm just worried when i'm parked by the big road during the day and the bus or garbage truck scratches my nice silver coat. i've enough scratch marks already. one day, awla left me there during the day and a nice security guard passed by and saw me. he immediately put a white piece of paper on my wiper just like the one given by the police traffic at the jhc bus stop. i dunno what it said but it definitely made awla mad and she never left me there again. which is a good thing alhamdulillah.
the RM25 parking fine. grrrrrr...
one day, some guy came and stole my right lower light. i don't remember when or how it happened but awla only noticed it when she drove me to jhc. she guessed it was a theft as there was no signs of trauma around the site and the wire was sticking out. it was embarrassing. i looked like someone with a missing tooth. alhamdulillah, i could still function. my main lights were ok. it was just a cosmetic problem. i had to wait for her to get her scholarship before she could buy me a new light.
last week, the weather was rather hot. awla doesn't usually leave my windows open a bit so i get quite stuffed inside. it was so hot that my rear-view mirror cracked. she didn't come see me for several days so she only realized it on friday. when she did notice it, she was so distraught that she was rather distracted the whole day. i got to know that she nearly lost her handphone that day and also caused two friends to become upset with her for not replying their messages.
alhamdulillah that friday evening, i was brought to the car accessories shop and awla bought a nice, long rear view mirror and a new front light. they only come in pairs (rm120) so now i have one spare left front light just in case someone wants to steal that one too. the nice chinese man installed my new light but it wouldnt function so i was referred to the wiring man. the wire-guy said that the thief cut off my socket too (whatever that means) but somehow he still managed to make the lights work. awla spent rm133 on me that day. i have to be thankful and perform well iA.
see my rongak front and new lights.
this is the nice chinese guy who fixed my light.
this is the wiring guy's son
my new mirror. i can see everything now.
the journey to kuantan was ok. during my 2nd week i bumped into a car because awla didn't adjust her side mirror well. my backside is still dented until today because she doesn't have the time to go send it to the workshop for repair.
i dont go to the hospital everyday. sometimes awla catches a ride with her roomie or takes a bus to school so i'm left at the mahallat car park. i'm not scared to be left alone because there are so many cars around. i'm just worried when i'm parked by the big road during the day and the bus or garbage truck scratches my nice silver coat. i've enough scratch marks already. one day, awla left me there during the day and a nice security guard passed by and saw me. he immediately put a white piece of paper on my wiper just like the one given by the police traffic at the jhc bus stop. i dunno what it said but it definitely made awla mad and she never left me there again. which is a good thing alhamdulillah.
the RM25 parking fine. grrrrrr...one day, some guy came and stole my right lower light. i don't remember when or how it happened but awla only noticed it when she drove me to jhc. she guessed it was a theft as there was no signs of trauma around the site and the wire was sticking out. it was embarrassing. i looked like someone with a missing tooth. alhamdulillah, i could still function. my main lights were ok. it was just a cosmetic problem. i had to wait for her to get her scholarship before she could buy me a new light.
last week, the weather was rather hot. awla doesn't usually leave my windows open a bit so i get quite stuffed inside. it was so hot that my rear-view mirror cracked. she didn't come see me for several days so she only realized it on friday. when she did notice it, she was so distraught that she was rather distracted the whole day. i got to know that she nearly lost her handphone that day and also caused two friends to become upset with her for not replying their messages.
alhamdulillah that friday evening, i was brought to the car accessories shop and awla bought a nice, long rear view mirror and a new front light. they only come in pairs (rm120) so now i have one spare left front light just in case someone wants to steal that one too. the nice chinese man installed my new light but it wouldnt function so i was referred to the wiring man. the wire-guy said that the thief cut off my socket too (whatever that means) but somehow he still managed to make the lights work. awla spent rm133 on me that day. i have to be thankful and perform well iA.
see my rongak front and new lights.
this is the nice chinese guy who fixed my light.
this is the wiring guy's son
my new mirror. i can see everything now.then awla went to East coast mall to celebrate the occasion.
yours truly,
joseph
JKV1832
yours truly,
joseph
JKV1832
Friday, January 23, 2009
a near scare
my heart nearly stopped just now.
i thought i had lost my SE handphone. (well, handphones are some people's lifeline)
mentally, i retraced my steps. i went to the ward, then to the outpatient clinic, then stopped by the bookfair at ACC, walked pass the ATM, went to buy some food and then went to the campus to eat my lunch. only then did i notice the absence of my phone.
it wasn't at the place i always keep it, attached to a tali around my neck. i didn't notice it falling.
i asked my friend to call my number and the dial tone was present but no one was picking up. that offered some hope of it being found.
fearing the worst but hoping for the best, i retraced my steps. i walked back to the bookfair but it was nowhere to be found. there was no signs of it at the clinic too.
i tried to recall the last time i used it. i had detached it to take a picture of a brain CT scan showing external herniation of the brain post craniectomy for subdural haematoma. after that, i could not remember where i put my phone.
i walked anxiously and prayed so hard for my phone to be somewhere near the radiological viewing box at the nurse's counter. it was already visiting hours and many people were at the ward.
when i reached there, my phone was lying still on the trolley below the viewing box, just where i left it, in camouflaged by the stacks of white paper and other disorderly stuff . hehe. good thing the only people who go behind the counter are nurses, doctors and mecial students. no visitors allowed.
alhamdulillah thummalhamdulillah thummalhamdulillah.
ok, so its just a handphone. i wont die if i lose it. buuuuuuuut, nanti i'll lose all the phone numbers of people who i need to contact. life would be miserable.
i thought i had lost my SE handphone. (well, handphones are some people's lifeline)
mentally, i retraced my steps. i went to the ward, then to the outpatient clinic, then stopped by the bookfair at ACC, walked pass the ATM, went to buy some food and then went to the campus to eat my lunch. only then did i notice the absence of my phone.
it wasn't at the place i always keep it, attached to a tali around my neck. i didn't notice it falling.
i asked my friend to call my number and the dial tone was present but no one was picking up. that offered some hope of it being found.
fearing the worst but hoping for the best, i retraced my steps. i walked back to the bookfair but it was nowhere to be found. there was no signs of it at the clinic too.
i tried to recall the last time i used it. i had detached it to take a picture of a brain CT scan showing external herniation of the brain post craniectomy for subdural haematoma. after that, i could not remember where i put my phone.
i walked anxiously and prayed so hard for my phone to be somewhere near the radiological viewing box at the nurse's counter. it was already visiting hours and many people were at the ward.
when i reached there, my phone was lying still on the trolley below the viewing box, just where i left it, in camouflaged by the stacks of white paper and other disorderly stuff . hehe. good thing the only people who go behind the counter are nurses, doctors and mecial students. no visitors allowed.
alhamdulillah thummalhamdulillah thummalhamdulillah.
ok, so its just a handphone. i wont die if i lose it. buuuuuuuut, nanti i'll lose all the phone numbers of people who i need to contact. life would be miserable.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
pictures
after the absence of entries for some time, i just don't feel like writing many words.
i'll just put up pictures.
i'll just put up pictures.
i have found another skin to write on.. haha. might not need pens and paper after this. (caution: the act of writing on the skin is not painful but the inflammatory reaction following hurts a lot)
aisyah cut her own hair
ayyasy likes to pout. he was trying to emulate the steamstress with her measuring tape.
nawwaz developed a liking for his mak yang's sarung lengan and wouldn't give it back.
i was given the honour of naming these two hamsters aswad (black) and baidha' (white)Tuesday, January 06, 2009
funds
if you had joined in the fast 2 fund campaign 2008 (Rejab, Sya`ban & Ramadhan 1429),
you would be happy to know that the overall collection ammounted to
RM 59076.67
and it has been sent to our palestinian brothers and sisters and also refugees elsewhere.
Allahu Akabar!
BUT,
they are still in need of plenty of funds so don't stop giving
and praying
it's the least we can do.
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